Jump the Gun Read Online Free PDF Page A

talked to psycho maniacs all the time.
    â€œI work for me, not some boss. I ain’t gonna shoot you, wise ass, but I can crack your head again easily enough…”
    â€œAnd drag us through the casino to your waiting car? All by yourself? Come on, Jake, you aren’t that stupid. Tell us what’s going on.”
    He really might be that stupid . Stupid is as stupid does, as Forest Gump would say. But I followed Mickey’s lead. “Yeah, Jake, either tell us or take us to see the tallest giraffe in the world.”
    â€œCut out that giraffe shit. Both of yous shut up.” Jake walked behind me as he said this, and right then I shoved my chair back as hard as I could into his overextended belly. He lost his balance and fell down. I was up like a shot and sat on his chest while Mickey dove to the floor and grabbed Jake’s arms. Jake tried kicking his feet but they were tangled up in the chair legs.
    â€œDental floss!” I yelled.
    â€œWhat?!”
    â€œDental floss! Dental floss! It’s in my purse!” I always have a super-size floss dispenser with me. I’m convinced that leafy greens get stuck in between my teeth more than anyone else’s in the world.
    Jake was big and squirming. I was having a hard time staying on top of him. Mickey repositioned himself to straddle Jake and lean over his head, while still holding his arms down. For a moment we were riding a one-humped camel over a bumpy desert. I raised myself up and grabbed my purse off the table, fished out the floss, and climbed under the table to tie Jake’s ankles together. He was still kicking and squirming, and I couldn’t manage it. Then I heard a crack, and an “Ooof!” and the legs slowed down. I pulled out and wrapped several yards of the stuff around his ankles and tied them to the leg of the conference table, which weighed about a ton. When I emerged from under the table, Jake had blood all over his face, and Mickey had blood all over his hand.
    â€œIs he dead?” I gasped.
    Mickey shook his head. “Not even close. I broke his nose.”
    Jake began to wriggle again. I moved up to his wrists and Mickey held his arms well enough for me to wrap the floss around and tie it. Then we managed to roll Jake over on his side and push him so that he was lined up between two of the table legs, and I tied his wrists to the second leg.
    Jake was yelling now, so I stood up and grabbed a bunch of napkins from the table and jammed them in his mouth. “Shut up, Jake! Just shut up!”
    I picked up the vase and turned it upside down, splattering him with flowers and water.
    Mickey stood up, panting, and studied Jake, who was red all over from blood and daisies. I was shaking; Mickey seemed calm. He walked to the sink, washed the blood off, and dried his hands on more napkins. Then he went back to Jake, knelt down beside him, and felt in his pockets.
    â€œNo phones. He must have ditched them.” He stood up. “Let’s get out of here, Beatrice Annabelle.” I picked up my purse and followed him to the door.
    When we stepped into the casino, no one took any notice of us. Mickey held my hand and whispered, “Let’s walk calmly and normally, like nothing is going on. Let’s not draw attention to ourselves. We don’t know if any of Jake’s friends are around.” I gave him a sporting smile, and then I saw a side door and sprinted for it, pulling Mickey with me. We tore out of there like racing cheetahs, dashing across the street and away from the casino. We hailed a cab that was coming out of the hotel’s front driveway. It didn’t have its light on, but it stopped anyway.
    Mickey opened the back door for me, and I was about to get in, when I stopped. “Oh!”
    â€œWhat? Get in!”
    But someone was already in the cab, and it was Granny Mae, the Tarcelloni hat lady.
    â€œHello, dear!” She smiled sweetly and beckoned to me. “I asked the