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control systems in our society")
    Favourite game: The Simpsons Hit & Run
    Preferred Simpsons character: Groundskeeper Willie OR Lard Lad
    Does he watch too much TV, specifically The Simpsons, to compensate for his media-free upbringing?: Yes
    Preferred karaoke song: None
    Reason for having no preferred karaoke song: Grew up without pop culture or music: "I just don't get it—but I'm trying, I really am."
    Food group most prevalent within work cubicle: M&M's (which is based on statistics on items most commonly eaten out of hotel mini-bars).

    Living Cartoon Profile No. 4

    Name: Brandon Mark Jackson

    Name people actually use: Mark
    Reason for boring name people actually use: Entered jPod only three weeks ago
    Non-work e-name(s): [email protected]
    Preferred room temperature: Haven't yet discussed this, but I'm guessing 72°F
    Favourite game: Baldur's Gate
    Preferred Simpsons character: Fast-food guy with cracking voice OR Moe Szyslak: opposite ends of the food-and-beverage industry labour cycle
    Preferred karaoke song: Has yet to show any musical verve
    Food group most prevalent within work cubicle: None
    Does he think we don't notice this?: Yes
    Is his office freakishly clean with no evidence whatsoever of an interior life—not even so much as a snapshot or anime knick-knackery?: Yes

    Living Cartoon Profile No. 5

    Name: Kaitlin Anna Boyd Joyce

    Name people actually use: Kaitlin
    Was she at the meeting today with Steve Who Turned AroundToblerone in Two Years? Yes
    Do we know much about her yet?: No. She joined jPod yesterday.
    Non-work e-name(s): [email protected]
    Preferred room temperature: Haven't discussed it, but I'm guessing 72°F
    Favourite game: Yahoo! Games.com's text twist (spied on her)
    Preferred Simpsons character: I'm guessing Lisa
    Preferred karaoke song: I'm hoping it's one I really like
    Food group most prevalent within work cubicle: Gum
    Does she notice me?: To be honest, I think not
    Will I let her see this particular character report?: No way

    Living Cartoon Profile No. 6

    Name: Me

    Name on birth certificate: Ethan Harrison Jarlewski
    Name people actually use: Ethan
    Non-work e-name(s): [email protected]
    Preferred room temperature: 68°F, and I hate hate hate humidity
    Most creative thing ever done: An old operating system I invented when I was in high school. I called it Mentos.
    Favourite game: Chrono Trigger on Sony PlayStation, a delectable console RPG with art by Akira Toriyama, sound by Yasunori Mitsuda and Nobuo Uematsu
    Preferred Simpsons character: Kang and Kodos, the aliens
    Preferred karaoke song: None
    Reason for not having a preferred karaoke song: I live in fear of karaoke. Even thinking of it in this detached neutral listing format causes me to worry that I might somehow even unintentionally lure karaoke into my life.
    Food group most prevalent within work cubicle: Kettle Chips with cracked pepper and lime, even though I suspect they give me bad dreams. Went through a Jell-0 Pudding Snacks phase last fall, but now can't even look at the stuff.
    Does he consider himself normal?: I used to, but now I wonder. Or rather, I think I'm still normal, but everyone around me is going random. Now I look at most people like recently lit Roman candles, unsure if they're about to go off, or if they're merely duds.
    Does he enjoy his job?: The greatest challenge is to have a job without actually doing work, which is really hard to pull off in a company where workspace productivity is measured with just about every conceivable form of metrics.
    Does he take satisfaction in his approach to work?: Yes
    . . .
    "Ethan, your description of me makes me look like a goof."
    "Mark, all I did was collect the data and present it."
    Mark was peeved. "Ethan, there has to be more to my life than this."
    "Why can't you just be happy as a shallow cartoon glyph of a human like everybody else here?"
    "You don't understand—I'm me —I have a soul"
    "Mark, I think you're obsessing on this whole