Joyful Read Online Free PDF Page B

time, she was still having trouble coming to grips with it.
    Already, she loved the baby so much, she couldn’t imagine her life without him.
    â€œJudith, I think little James has almost doubled in size!” her sister-in-law Rebecca, Caleb’s wife, declared. “He sure seems to be a happy baby.”
    â€œHe is. He sleeps gut , too,” Judith answered. Turning to her husband, she said, “Right, Ben?”
    â€œHe does, except when he’s teething. Which he seems to be constantly doing.”
    â€œThat’s a little early. I mean he’s only four months old, isn’t he?” Rebecca asked.
    â€œThat is correct,” Judith said proudly. “We’ve now had him for a little over three months.” Unable to help herself, she gave James another little hug and kissed the top of his head for good measure. “Sometimes I can hardly remember what our life was like before we got him.”
    â€œBut you’re gonna have to give him back soon, right?” Anson asked.
    Her pesky brother’s voice cut through the haze of happiness like a dull knife. “Anson, I can’t believe you just said that.”
    Anson looked at their parents. “What did I say wrong? I thought James was only yours for a little while, on account that he’s a foster baby. He’s going to go back to his real mamm one day soon, right?”
    The whole table—all ten people—retreated into silence. If Judith hadn’t been holding James and felt the reassuring touch of her husband’s hand between her shoulder blades, she feared she would have burst into tears. Or, more likely, yelled at her little brother.
    All his life, Anson had had a knack for continually saying exactly what was on his mind. He had no filter; if he thought it, he blurted it. Anytime, anyplace. Unfortunately, he almost always managed to hurt someone’s feelings.
    Slowly, she took a deep breath and tried to remember that her little brother wasn’t trying to be hurtful. No good would come from making a big fuss.
    â€œIt’s not all just a matter of giving him back,” Ben explained in a matter-of-fact tone. “Kendra is still in jail and isn’t supposed to be out for another year or so. And until she is ready to take care of him full-time, we’ve been entrusted to be James’s temporary parents. It’s a wonderful-gut blessing.” He cleared his throat. “Right, Judith?”
    â€œOh, jah .” And it was true. They absolutely knew that James wasn’t going to be their baby to raise. But that hadn’t stopped her, in her weakest moments, from pretending that he would be.
    Gradually, conversation began again, at first stilted, but then flowing easily as Caleb began telling stories about life at the brick factory where he worked.
    Two hours later, after helping to clean up the dishes and the short buggy ride back to their house in town, Judith stood by Ben’s side as they tucked James in.
    Later, she sat in the rocking chair by the crib and watched him sleep. Praying for his comfort and, selfishly, for her to somehow gather the courage to find the strength to be able to give James back to his mother one day.
    It shamed her that she would ever even consider not wanting him to go back to his mother. But that was why she was human, she realized. She was flawed and imperfect. And where James was concerned, more than a little selfish. She needed the Lord’s guiding hand—and His grace—as much as anyone she knew. It was going to take a lot of prayer to smile when it was time to place James in his mother’s arms and then turn and walk away.
    As she continued to rock, she heard Ben go downstairs. Noises drifted up the stairwell. Closing her eyes, she listened to him straighten up the kitchen. Put away her sweater and boots. Fill the teakettle.
    Then the front door opened and she heard him rustle with something. Then she heard him mumble something to