nod. When looking at her, I found it difficult to get my eyes up to her face.
“I thought we could start on the table,” she said a little petulantly.
But I was already through the door and into the wardrobe before she could tempt me further. There was a box with the picture of a metal detector on it in the bottom corner of the wardrobe. It looked unopened. Grabbing it like a long lost lover I hopped back to my room in my parent’s house.
I slumped onto the bed and wiped sweat from my brow. “You are a married man,” I said severely to a part of my body that didn’t seem to agree with me.
5. Treasure Hunt
Once the swelling went down and I got my breath back, I sat up and examined the contents of the box. From the pristine state of the device, it was clear that Malcolm had never used the metal detector. I put the bits together without consulting the instructions and flipped the red switch while holding one of the headphones against my ear. Not so much as a pop let alone a crackle.
Reluctantly, I reached for the leaflet that came with it. Reading the instructions always felt like cheating. In this case, cheating wasn’t possible. The whole damned thing was in Japanese, or Chinese or Korean. Well, one of those languages with lots of pictograms instead of letters. I searched through the box, but there was no English manual. The box had English writing on it, along with a picture of a young nubile female smiling as she wafted the machine above the ground like a grass cutter. All I got from it in the way of information were the words ‘Made in Japan ’ in very small print.
It hasn’t come with a charger and though one of the diagrams suggested there were batteries, I couldn’t see how to get at them. Stalemate. Dad had a hammer downstairs, a big heavy hammer that was beginning to call to me.
To give myself time to think, I checked my magic reserves and was astonished with how high they’d got. Something very peculiar was going on here. Not only were enormous amounts of energy flooding into me, a lot of it was sloshing over the sides. I couldn’t see what I was doing with it, but I was using it for something, that was for sure.
There was a way I could learn Japanese quickly. All I needed to do was find someone who could read and write it.
A hop to Jenny’s college and a quick look through the campus map on the wall proved unedifying. If they had an oriental studies department, they were keeping it well hidden. I stepped back from the map and saw an oriental looking girl walking past.
“Excuse me, miss?” I put a hand on her shoulder.
For a second she looked furious and then she smiled broadly.
“Do you speak Japanese?” I asked.
“You are very handsome. You have a girlfriend?” She reached out to touch my face with her fingertips. All this sudden female attention must be the married-man effect, I have to say I was enjoying it.
I took her hand from my face and held it.
“Do you speak Japanese?”
“And Korean, my country.”
“Could you think in Japanese, pretend you’re teaching it me?”
A blur of words and symbols rushed through my head. “Thanks so much.”
“Anytime, pretty boy. You want come back to my flat?”
I dislodged her hand from mine. “Some other time.” It wasn’t sensible to hop in public where someone might see and I headed off before she could try for my phone number. I turned into an empty corridor and hopped back to my room.
The instructions now made perfect sense and I slid the edge of a 5p piece into slot A and twisted, popping off the top of the battery case. A quick hop to the local Newsagents and I had the batteries I needed. An LED display lit up when I flipped the switch and the headphones made a weird whooping sound.
A few seconds later I located the nails in the floor boards and the door keys under a blanket. I assessed my situation.
Working Metal Detector – check .
Hoard of treasure – not located.
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