Jacob Two-Two on the High Seas Read Online Free PDF Page A

when you get this photograph, Jacob, don’t be surprised if you look pale and insignificant next to my magnificent self. Everyone does. Have you got all of me in focus, Mr. Scrounger? Not just my nose like last time.”
    “Almost,” said Mr. Scrounger.
    “What’s that out there?” Cindy pointed past the rail of the ship. “There’s something there in the mist.”
    “Don’t move or you’ll spoil the shot,” said Mr. Scrounger. But Jacob turned his head to look. Cindy was right, there was something out there. A dark form slowly emerged from the mist.
    “Why, this is most annoying,” Captain Sparkletooth said. “This was going to be one of the best photographs of me ever. I don’t see what can be so interesting out there.”
    Jacob could just make out the carved figurehead of a mermaid. “It’s a ship! It’s a ship!” he cried. As it became more visible, Jacob could see that it was a very old ship, the kind with three tall masts and big sails. He could also see cannons – dozens of them – lined up along the ship’s side.
    “If anyone is going to greet the captain of another ship, that person ought to be me,” Captain Sparkle-tooth said. “In fact, I have a speech prepared for just such an occasion. Mr. Scrounger, where is my bullhorn? Ah, here it is on this hook.” The captain put the bullhorn to his mouth. “This is the captain of the SS
Spring-a-Leak
calling. I welcome you to … to … wherever we are. In recognition of the brotherhood of all sailors, we offer our hospitality to you all. I believe we have muffins and hot chocolate.”
    Now Jacob could see the flag waving from the top of one of the masts. It was a black flag, with a skull and crossbones on it – the Jolly Roger! “It’s a pirate ship. It’s a pirate ship!” Jacob said.
    “Nonsense, Jacob,” said Captain Sparkletooth. “There haven’t been pirates in these waters for two hundred years. Do you think I’d be out here if there were? There must be some other reason. I know!They’re making a movie. I hear that pirate movies are very popular these days. Perhaps the stars would like to have their picture taken with me… .”
    The captain’s words were drowned out by an explosion.
Bazoom!
Something whizzed over their heads and splashed into the water on the other side of the SS
Spring-a-Leak
.
    “It’s a cannonball!” Jacob cried. “They’re firing at us! They’re firing!”
    “Firing?” said Captain Sparkletooth. “I’m shocked. How rude. There is only one thing for a brave and handsome captain such as myself to do. Surrender! Somebody wave a white flag. We don’t have one? How inconvenient. Here, I’ll wave my jacket.”
    But by the time the captain had undone all the brass buttons, the pirate ship was already alongside the SS
Spring-a-Leak
. A gangplank was laid across the rails, and two very dirty pirates in bare feet stepped nimbly across, holding out their swords. “Prepare to meet the greatest pirate of them all!” one of them announced. “Introducing our leader, Crossbones!”
    Crossbones?
Jacob shivered at the very sound of the name. Out of the mist emerged a man in a pirate hat and leather boots. As the pirate crossed over the gangway, Jacob saw his eye patch, his grizzled beard, and the cutlass tucked in his broad belt. He swaggered as he walked, his big stomach swaying with each step. With a grunt he began to pull himself over the rail of the SS
Spring-a-Leak
. There was a loud ripping sound.

    “Tarnation!” growled Crossbones. “I believe I have rendered a tear in my lower garment.”
    “What did he just say?” asked Captain Sparkle-tooth.
    “He ripped his pants,” said one of the other pirates.
    Crossbones stepped up to the Captain and leaned on his sword. Captain Sparkletooth, his teeth chattering with fear, removed his cap. “Oh, dear, Mr. Crossbones, you have quite a reputation. A terrible reputation.”
    “You flatter me. I believe I am even blushing,” said Crossbones. “You have