Jackie's Jokes Read Online Free PDF

"Taxes and Tax Day! Now I get it!" He paused. "Except that I don't, not really. Although some people say taxes are one big practical joke played on adults. So, what do you want to know about taxes and Tax Day?"
    "Well, it's like this," Jackie said. "What if a person, or persons, doesn't or don't pay her or their taxes by, um, Tax Day? Is that a very bad thing?"
    "Huh," Pete said. For once, he sounded stumped. "Well, I don't know. You see, I've always paid all my taxes on time, so it's very hard for me to say."
    " Try, "Jackie said, using her new forceful tone.
    "Well," Pete said, "I suppose I have read about tax cheats. But those are usually wealthy people."
    Eight girls gulped in fear. Our parents were wealthy people!
    "And what happens to those wealthy tax cheats?" Jackie asked.
    "From what I can tell," Pete said, "they have to pay a lot of extra money in fines, or someone comes and takes away some of their stuff as payment, or, sometimes, they even wind up in jail."
    "Jail?" Petal shrieked. "But I can't wind up there! I don't want to be a poor orphan in—"
    Rebecca would have clapped her hand over Petal's mouth, but Georgia beat her to it.
    "Who's that shouting?" Pete asked.
    "Shouting?" Jackie asked with a nervous laugh. "Oh, it's just the TV set. Durinda's watching some cooking show and the, um, French chef is very loud."
    "I see," Pete said, starting to sound suspicious. It was probably because of the word French. One day, we were really going to have to come up with something other than France or the French to get us out of tight places. "But what I don't see," he went on, "is why you're suddenly interested in—"
    "What are taxes for, Mr. Pete?" Jackie cut him off. "And why do people have to pay them?"
    "Why, taxes are used for all sorts of things people need. They're used to keep all the roads paved so that there aren't big holes that could hurt people if their cars hit them."
    "Safety," Zinnia said, and Petal nodded. "Safety is important."
    "And bridges too," Pete said. "No one wants a bridge to be weak."
    "Is that it?" Jackie asked.
    "Oh no," Pete said. "There's lots of other things as well. Why, the police, the fire departments—all depend on taxes."
    "Those are important things too," Durinda said. "If you have a kitchen fire, you want someone to call who will come and help you."
    "And government," Pete said.
    "I'm not sure we care about that," Jackie said. "Anything else?"
    "Schools," Pete said.
    "But that's insane! "Marcia, who was rarely outraged by anything, was outraged. "We already pay a huge price to go to the Whistle Stop! We shouldn't have to pay for other schools too!"
    "I'll bet it's that usury thing I once told you about," Annie said knowingly, "all over again."
    "Hullo?" Pete said. "How many of you am I talking to now?"
    "All eight," Jackie admitted with a sigh. "The French cooking show ended, and we're all here now."
    "Good," Pete said, "because now maybe you lot can tell me something."
    "Yes?" Jackie said.
    "Why, Jackie? Why do you all want to know about taxes and Tax Day?"
    Instead of answering, Jackie asked, "What's a CPA?"
    "It stands for certified public accountant," Pete said immediately, restoring our faith in his brain. "A CPA is a special kind of accountant, and accountants handle filing people's taxes for them. Why do you ask?"
    Jackie took a deep breath, big enough for all of us. "Because Daddy's accountant was e-mailing him and we didn't know it and now he's left a million messages on our machine and it's all about the same thing. He says Daddy must bring him his files and, I don't know, whatever else he needs, and then Daddy needs to pay his taxes on time ... or else."
    "Oh dear," Pete said, and then he let out a low whistle. "This can't be good."

CHAPTER FIVE

    "This is really bad then, isn't it?" Jackie asked.
    "Well, yes," Pete said. "I don't think there's a person in the world who wants the Tax Man after him or her."
    The Tax Man. That sounded even more ominous to us than the