J Roars Read Online Free PDF Page B

for a ride to clear my head, but knew that was bullshit. I knew it was bullshit AND dangerous. I knew leaving Bill's, riding around Missouri on my bike, and heading to brown town did nothing but put Elle in danger. I knew this, yet I still found myself pulling up to Aquario.
    I slipped in the back door, having been there enough times with Ernesto for the staff to not question me. I hovered by the Employee Only door, bar backs run ning back and forth with arms full of beer, liquor, ice, or a combo of all those. The door was directly across from the bar, and despite wanting to bust in there with guns blazing, I hung back eyeing it up. I waited behind the door, thinking I'd just stay for a moment, collect myself, figure out what the fuck I was doing.
    All thoughts of self preservation left when a bartender came barreling through, shoving the door open, and jogging to the beer cooler to restock. As the door swung shut, I caught a glimpse of Elle and my heart ceased to beat. She was sitting at the bar with José, sipping liquor, laughing, and clutching his finger. They were having a good time it seemed, or at least it did at first. They were talking about something when I saw a shadow pass her eyes. For a moment, I saw the pain in her eyes that mirrored my own. I forgot who she was with and closed my eyes, unable to look at her, to see the light so dim in her eyes.
    I missed her. God, I fucking missed her so much. The night at her apartment had been tragic, bittersweet, and not nearly enough. I wanted her, with every part of my being, I wanted her. Not just to fuck, but to love, to hold, to fucking cherish. Shit, I think I was quoting song lines in my head or something. That's how great the equal parts pain and need flowing through me were. When I opened my eyes again, unsure how much time had passed while I shattered apart and then pieced myself back together, they were gone. Elle was no longer at the bar, nor was José. Panic.
    I shoved th rough the door, hovering just outside of it. Scanning the place, my eyes landed on Elle, back pressed to José's front, hips grinding against him, arms around his neck. If I'd shattered seeing her at the bar with him, I melted into a pool of self-pity seeing him touching her. The look in her eyes was one I knew well. She was lost in another place, letting the dance floor be her means of escape. Only instead of escaping alone like usual, she was taking José with her?
    Retreating back into the hallway, I sunk to the floor, my head between my legs. Fuck. Had I lost her? Had I missed my chance? Did she decide not to wait for me? In my absence, had José filled the void I couldn't?
    No. There was no way Elle could have what we had with José. Could she? Fuck. If she was going to get with some other guy, did it have to be him of all people? Had he pushed his way into her pants, or did she invite him? Fuck. Anger took over and I pushed up off the floor, busting through the door, I expected to find Elle still on the dance floor, instead I found José at the bar nursing a beer alone. As soon as I came through the door, he saw me, and like lightning, came barreling towards me, fists in the air. I was ready, though, and he was barely in the hallway before I landed one on his face.
    "You take other guy's women when they aren't around. Is that your play, mother fucker?" I screamed, watching his cheek start to swell.
    "Fuck you. She ran off, scared and damaged because of you."
    He took a swing at me, but I ducked and got another punch to his side in. He stood up quickly, my eyes were so clouded with rage I missed him cocking his arm back. He laid into my face, and I felt the blood begin to seep out of my nose. We were feral beasts fighting over a mate, only she was mine, and I was already prepared to die fighting for her. Whether it was José, Burns, or a drug cartel was irrelevant to me.
    "She'd be safe with me. You know it. She wouldn't be the mess she is if you hadn't broke her. Do you have any idea what