was
actually
attracted to her: Those moments were merely the natural and meaningless biological result of a man having a woman for a close
friend. But over the last eight months, what had started as a whisper had become a four-part orchestra playing at full blast
in his mind. And now he was here, on Kelly’s front stoop, trying to get that terrible music to stop.
He looked down into Kelly’s face. And he kissed her. Not gently. He put his hands in her hair and tipped her head to the side
and did what he had to until Lana faded into the background of his mind. When he pulled away, Kelly had whole galaxies swirling
in her eyes.
“Nobody’s ever kissed me like that.”
He said nothing.
“Do you want to come inside?”
“You want me to?”
“I want you to,” she said.
He didn’t mean to hesitate. But she saw.
“I’m not angling for something serious, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she said, a smile on her lips. “No strings. Just…
fun.”
He stood still.
She unzipped his jacket an inch. “Well?”
So he didn’t have to answer, he kissed her again. He wrapped his arms around her waist. He dragged her up close to him and
felt her large, soft breasts pillowing low on his chest. Finally his body responded. Like he’d hoped it would.
She drew away. “Can I take that as a
yes
?”
He’d pulled off her cardigan before the door slammed shut behind them.
June 13
“Oh my gosh. You’re
pregnant
, aren’t you?” Karin asked.
It was evening, and she stood at the stove in Lana’s house, stirring a simple soup of vegetarian broth and orzo that she hoped
Lana could keep down. Lana lived near the south end of Burlington, where she rented a small Cape Cod–style house with white
siding and navy trim. Everything about the house was small—the rooms, the windows, the yard, and the amount of furniture.
But it was perfect for Lana since she didn’t want a family of her own.
When Lana didn’t answer, Karin turned around. Her sister was sitting with the flat of her cheek squished hard against the
wooden tabletop. Her skin was ashen and dull. “Well?”
“I
don’t
think I’m pregnant.” She sighed.
“Are you sure?” Karin asked. She’d been teasing before. But the question that had been a joke just moments ago suddenly took
on more serious possibilities. “You use condoms or something, right?”
“Why are we even talking about this?” Lana asked, lifting her head. “Yes, we used a condom. But even if we didn’t, I got my
period on… the day the mulch came. That was, like, three weeks ago or something.”
Karin snickered. “You mean you got it
after
your visit with Ron.”
“I just have some kind of stomach thing,” she said, and she put her head back down. “Plus I didn’t sleep that great.”
Karin nodded. She didn’t really think her sister was pregnant. The odds were far against it. No one knew that better than
Karin. Under good conditions a couple had only a 25 percent chance of a successful pregnancy, give or take. Add in real-life
factors like stress and timing, and the odds plummeted from there.
She stirred the soup one last time, then opened the old wooden cabinet where Lana kept the bowls. She supposed she was a little
preoccupied with pregnancy these days. She and Gene had had sex twice in the last forty-eight hours. She would have slept
with him tonight as well, but he’d left on business. Her house—so gloomy and quiet—was unbearable without him.
She ladled the soup out of the pot; the broth was so weak she could see the daisies painted on the bottom of the bowl. She
crossed the little kitchen and set the bowl on the table with a
clunk
.
“I can’t eat,” Lana said.
“Try.”
“Okay,
Mom
.”
They shared a smile. Karin made herself a bowl of soup and sat down. “So tell me. Why aren’t you sleeping?”
“I got a letter. Yesterday.”
Karin cringed at the sound of her sister’s voice. Lana stood, walked to her