It Burns a Lovely Light Read Online Free PDF

the
    enormous kitchen. With its massive brick fireplace and high windows overlooking the sloping back yard and the city below, the kitchen was the heartbeat of the house. The front door was for salesmen and formal guests. For strangers.
    He removed his hat, clutched it to his chest and took a few
    deep breaths. "I would have come right away, but you asked for some time. I thought the least I could do was give you a week." He flashed a nervous smile. "Longest week of my life."
    "Glad to hear it," said Claire. "Hope it was hell for you."
    Although her voice sounded strong and bitter, her heart wasn't in it. Even under the dim porch light, she could see Paddy was
    suffering. His broad shoulders drooped toward his chest, and his clothes seemed a size too big. His arms - still knotted with muscles from decades in the mill - seemed to have shrunk. At not quite forty, he looked more like fifty. Jesus, Mary and her husband, she thought, it's only been a week.
    "I've come to say my peace, Claire."
    She stared him down, a million vicious responses running through her head. Finally, heaving an exasperated sigh, she grabbed him by the
    arm and yanked him into the house.
    "Get in here," she said. "Your peace will have to wait until I get some food in you."
    Paddy finished off the last of his pastrami on rye as he
    watched his wife caress the bottom of her ring with her thumb. He had surprised her with it the morning she started her first job as a librarian's assistant. 'A beautiful ring for a beautiful lady,' he had said, taking her in his arms.
    After she finally agreed to marry him she insisted there was no need for another ring - or any other jewelry for that. The gold ring with the tiny diamond in the center was the only ring she ever wanted on her finger. Raising his head, he met his wife's clear blue eyes as the clock above the stove
    ticked.
    "So." Claire folded her hands on the table. "Let's hear it; do you love her?"
    "No." Paddy shook his head. "It was never
    about love, for either one of us."
    "Then shame on you all the more."
    He wiped his forehead with the flat of his hand.
    "I don't know what happened," he said, his voice
    as quiet as a confessional whisper. "I lost my way - and I'm ashamed to admit it to you now. One day I was a feisty mill rat with a mind full of plans and possibilities; a whole lifetime adventures still on the horizon, everything yet to be lived. Suddenly...here I am. Middle aged, with too-late written all
    over me, and the unemployment line taunting me like a schoolyard bully." He paused, a surprised look on his face. "This morning I wiped the steam off the bathroom mirror, and a balding, fat man stared back at me. A
    nobody...acting like an old fool."
    "A nobody," repeated Claire. The fool part she didn't contend.
    She rinsed his plate in the sink, then leaned against the
    counter and crossed her arms. "Did you ever think to ask me - or your son - if we think you're a nobody?"
    Joe. Paddy flinched. "He must be pretty disappointed in his old man."
    Claire's hands instinctively slid down to her hips; her way
    of wrapping her arms around herself without actually wrapping her arms around herself.
    "Do you honestly believe I would burden that child with your sins? Joe is our son; not a tool for revenge."
    Paddy smiled gratefully. That was Claire for you. "What did you say? How did you explain the two of you moving back to Bridge Manor?"
    "I started by telling him how much we both love him.
    Then I said you and I have decided to spend some time apart." She paused. "And that his father has gone out of his ever-loving mind."
    Paddy coughed.
    "I might have left out the last part," she said.
    "Thank you, darling girl."
    Darling girl. Hearing Paddy's nickname for her made Claire's heart hurt. She had loved this man since he was a teenager fresh from Ireland,
    with a thick, inner-city Dublin accent. And heaven help her, she still did.
     
    "I would have told you sooner," said Claire, topping off Veda Marie's coffee.