like Redmond, I usually feel okay inside , even though I know big trouble is coming, because Redmond really is an asshole and I donât care whether he likes me or not. But the minute the word âassholeâ spills over my lip, I know heâs got me. Though my diagnosis may be correct, all anyone sees is a bozo out of control. Afterward, Iâd do anything to keep them from seeing that.
Even worse, I trash people I care about that very same way when I start looking bad, and when I get rolling I canât stop, donât want to stop. I do it with Mom all the time, and I did it with the only girlfriend I ever had, so far. When itâs over, I feel stupid and ashamed, and I donât think thereâs afeeling worse than that.
Enough. There are no answers in life, and Iâm afraid Iâm making a case for attending Mr. Nakâs group. Besides, I need my sleep. Mr. S said I could work out with the university swim team if Iâd show up at five oâclock in the A.M ., and that comes early. Thanks for listening, Larry. Youâre a good host. After youâve made me famous with this masterpiece, you ought to think about being a shrink.
Outta here,
The Big B
Â
âMan, whatâs he doinâ here?â Ian Wyrack nods toward Bo standing chest deep in the university swimming pool, gasping for oxygen after the last swim in a set of twenty hundred-yard sprints. âHe isnât on the team. Hell, he isnât even enrolled here. Arenât you that high-school punk whose picture was in the paper for that triathlon crap? Wants to be an Ironman or some shit?â
âPunkâ and âIronmanâ in the same sentence would seem a contradiction in terms, Ian,â Lion says from the deck. âBesides, I counted eight of those repeats in which this high-school punk kicked your butt.â
Wyrack pulls himself out of the water, his triceps bouncing on the backs of his arms like tennis balls, pectorals dancing. Bo glances up, then quickly away, thinking, This guy is Terminator III.
âShee,â Wyrack says, âI dogged those.â
âYou sure you want me to know that?â Lion asks, and the shrill blast of his whistle ricochets around the walls of the pool house. âLine âem up!â he hollers. âBy his own count, Wyrack dogged eight of those! Help him out, guys; letâs do those eight again!â To a man, the small team of nine swimmers groans. âWay to go, Wyrack!â âNice job, Wyrack!â âHey Wyrack, keep it to yourself!â
Wyrack kisses his knuckles as Bo drags himself from the water. âYouâre meat, Ironman.â
âIâll assume youâre dogging any repeat Brewster wins,â Lion says, his eyes following the second hand on the giant workout clock above Lane Four as it drifts toward twelve. He moves behind Bo five seconds before the start whistle. âA true Ironman would take that as a challenge,â he says in a low voice. âSee how long you can keep these guys in the water. Iâll let you out a few minutes early to get to Mr. Nakâs group. Youâll be gone before Wyrack has dried off.â He blasts the whistle.
Sixteen hundred-yard sprints later, Wyrack finally touches the wall a tenth of a second ahead of Bo for the eighth time to end that workout segment. He is without sufficient oxygen to predict Boâs short lifespan aloud,but draped over the lane divider, sucking air like a tropical depression, he points a finger at Boâs heart.
At the same moment Lion glances at his wristwatch. âBrewster, youâre outta here, man. Gonna be late to your early morning class. Thanks for giving us a push.â
Bo hauls himself once more out of the water, refusing to look back in the direction of the groans.
Â
Don Sheridan, the head janitor, bangs down the panic bar with his broom handle from the inside on the side entrance door, allowing Bo to enter the school