throat.
‘Excuse me, hi,’ I said, smiling politely.
She turned to look at me, scowling. It wasn’t an attractive look. Her face was caked in make-up and her false eyelashes had been covered with thick liner, framing her eyes and making her look like Miss Piggy.
‘He’s here with me tonight and we were in the middle of something, would you mind?’ I raised my eyebrows questioningly and waited for her to reply. She looked me up and down slowly, her face displaying a commentary as she got the measure of me, and seeing nothing that worried her she stood up and squeezed past me again. She leant across the table to Steven.
‘I’ll see you later,’ she whispered, blowing him a kiss as she straightened herself up and sashayed away to the bar.
Steven looked mortified so I punched him lightly on the shoulder.
‘Hey, round one to us. Do you want another pint?’
I watched his face as he narrowed his eyes, watching Melissa, then he jumped to his feet, grabbing my hand.
‘She just entered the ladies, can we get out of here?’ he asked. ‘Quick before she comes back?’ he insisted.
I stood up, aware of Steph watching me, a frown on her face.
‘I’ll text you where we’ve gone. Follow us when you’ve finished this round, OK?’ I shrugged apologetically as Steven pulled me towards the door; I kept an eye on the ladies’ toilet, hoping Melissa wouldn’t emerge and spot us trying to make a run for it. We stumbled out into the street and ran across the road towards Camden Town tube station and out of sight of the pub.
‘She will notice as soon as she opens the toilet door,’ he said, a hint of panic in his voice. ‘Where can we go?’
‘The Mixer?’ He nodded and started running across the road towards the Good Mixer. I loved The Mixer, it had a bit of a history as a pub that cool bands had frequented.
We slipped inside, found a corner table and sank into the seats, breathing heavily. Steven looked tense but I was feeling something else, an adrenalin rush maybe, it was really quite thrilling. Running away from a stalker might sound scary but when it’s not your stalker it’s just fun. I thought back to my childhood nightmares of being chased by the Terminator and reasoned that this was probably like that for Steven; a relentless being with a single mission. For me it was nowhere near as frightening as being chased by a merciless android so I was finding the whole thing really quite exciting.
‘Pint?’ I asked standing up after my breathing had returned to normal. He nodded, watching the door in trepidation. I realised it wouldn’t be that difficult to work out which pub he might have gone to, there are not that many after all. ‘Tell you what, my flat is a two minute walk from here. We can go there, you can call a cab and be home long before she even comes looking for you?’ I suggested.
Relief washed over his face and he nodded, smiling. I held out my hand to him and pulled him up. We must have looked like a dodgy pair sneaking out of the pub, looking all around. I was trying to take it seriously for Steven’s sake but I kept pretending I was Jack Bauer, whispering, ‘I’ll check the perimeter, you cover me. OK it’s clear, head to the next corner.’ By the time we reached my flat, Steven was grinning.
‘We are at the rendezvous point, location is secured.’ I giggled as I unlocked the door.
‘Copy that, Agent Jones.’ He glanced around one last time before following me through the door.
I collapsed on the sofa, giggling. Steven stood in the doorway, watching me.
‘I’m sorry Steven, I know it’s not funny, it’s just that –’ I giggled again ‘– well, it sort of is funny, if you think about it. Running away from some woman because she wants to have sex with you.’
‘Well I suppose when you put it like that, it must seem pretty funny,’ he agreed, ‘but she’s relentless. I just want her to leave me alone. I mean, can you imagine me trying to actually meet someone