Inn & Out (A Romantic Comedy) (Five More Wishes Book 2) Read Online Free PDF Page B

after I collide into him, and our lower halves and upper halves are glued together, as he holds me.
    “Oh my God, you’re naked. Why are you naked?” I shriek and push him away.
    “I thought you were being murdered. I didn’t stop for a towel.”
    A towel.
    My hands fly to cover my private bits, but not before Thor has gotten an eyeful. I’m naked, too. So much for my first private shower in two years. “Okay, okay, we’re grownups,” I say, trying to regain my composure. “So we saw each other naked. No big deal. Leave and we’ll forget this ever happened.”
    I turn around and walk toward the towels, but I step on the shower curtain. The curtain rod is underneath, and it rolls under my foot, and I go flying. Like an Olympic diver, I do a leap and a spin in midair and land splat onto two-hundred-twenty pounds of pure muscle and a big giant penis.  I take Thor down with me onto the bathroom floor, better than any t-shirt MMA star. I’m sure about the big giant penis because I land with my face in his crotch, and mortifyingly, my crotch is in his face.
    “Are we still grownups?” Thor asks, his voice muffled, and his breath blowing hot on my hoo-ha.
    I struggle to get up, but my hand slips, and I push down on his most sensitive appendages, making Thor jump up in agony. “Get off me,” I complain.
    He groans. “You’re on me. This is your fault. Why were you screaming like you were being murdered?”
    “There was a monster-sized rat hiding in the shower. It tried to eat me.” I get up and finally wrap a towel around me. It feels good to be covered, more in control. “Get a towel,” I tell him, trying to avert my eyes, but I’ve seen everything, and there’s a whole lot of everything.
    Thor stands and wraps a towel around his hips. His head is dipped down, but I can see the scowl on his face. “A monster-sized rat from a hole in the shower?” he asks.
    “Monster-sized,” I say. “The Godzilla of rats. You need to call pest control.”
    “That monster over there?” he asks, pointing at the bathtub. On the lip of the tub is a tiny mouse. It’s staring at me, and its little nose is wiggling, making its whiskers go up and down. It’s not a big rat or a rat at all. It’s only a tiny mouse.
    A mouse.
    I scream at the top of my lungs and bolt away, throwing my body at the door, away from the mouse. I side-swipe Thor on my way out, but this time, we don’t collide and don’t fall on the floor, and we’re not totally naked, which is a plus.
    As I make it back into my room, the pipes stop screeching and banging. “That’s a relief,” I tell Thor, who’s standing in the bathroom doorway, still in his towel. He’s staring at me as if I’ve done something wrong.
    “Why were you naked in the first place?” I ask.
    He furrows his eyebrows. “I was taking a shower when I heard you scream.”
    As if by magic or karma, there’s a loud scream coming from the hallway.  A bone-chilling scream. It starts off like a normal man’s scream but recedes into the distance, like he’s falling down a well. The scream quickly changes to a string of expletives—especially oh, fuck—in a loud voice.
    Then, a boom.
    Thor and I look at each other, I guess to see if the scream came from one of us. It didn’t. This time, I’m not the one doing the screaming. There’s another scream while we walk toward the door, but this time the scream is from a woman. I peek into the hallway. An old woman is standing with her back up against the wall. She’s wearing overalls and a plaid shirt. Her hair looks like it was transplanted from Einstein’s dead body, and the expression on her face is pure terror.
    “You killed Bert!” she screams at me. “You killed Bert!”

CHAPTER 4
     
    “I didn’t kill Bert!” I yell back. “I didn’t touch him!” I have no idea who Bert is, but there’s a gaping wide hole in the hallway floor, and it’s even money that Bert fell through it. The old lumberjack Einstein lady