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after the fact. Which, of course, we were.
    She’d picked me up at the airport with the same over-excitement, waving wildly at me to make us even more of a spectacle. “Katie!” she’d screeched, like this was some kind of fun vacation, like we weren’t terrified of each other.
    The bullet-train ride made my ears pop and sting, and once we got to Shizuoka, I stood out even more. There were a lot of gaijin in Tokyo, but in Shizuoka I rarely saw anyone foreign.
    Diane lifted the lid of the rice cooker, and steam swirled out, fogging up her glasses. She reached for my plate and paddled the rice on, and then dumped a ladle of curry on the side.
    “Great,” I said.
    “You mean ‘ itadakimasu. ’”
    “Whatever.”
    “So any new friends yet, or are they still being shy?” Diane sat down and mixed the curry and rice together with her chopsticks. I pushed my rice into a sticky mound and dug my fork into a carrot.
    Well, let’s see. Cute guy on the train from another school, and annoying senior who has it out for me at my school. But friends?
    “Tanaka, I guess. He’s Yuki’s friend.” Big mistake. Diane clasped her hands together and her eyes shone.
    “That’s great!” she said.
    “It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I figure it won’t take too long to settle the whole will dispute. I’ll be in Deep River before we know it.” Diane frowned, which looked almost clownish in her thick plum lipstick.
    “Come on, it’s not that bad here with me, is it?”
    “Why would it be bad in a country where I can’t even read where the bathroom is?” Speaking was one thing; even writing phonetic hiragana and katakana had come without too much study. But learning two thousand kanji to read signs and newspapers was a slow, grueling process.
    “I told you, it’ll take time. But you’re doing great. And you know Gramps still isn’t in the best of health. It’s too much of a strain on them right now, at least until we know the cancer is in remission for sure.”
    “I know,” I sighed, pushing my potatoes around in the thick curry.
    “So tell me about Tanaka.”
    I shrugged. “He’s into calligraphy painting. Tall, skinny, pretty loud when he comes into a room.”
    “Is he cute?”
    “Gross, Diane.” I slammed my fork down in disgust.
    “Okay, okay,” she conceded. “I just wanted you to know that we can talk boys, if you need to.”
    “Noted.”
    “Do you want some tea?”
    I shook my head. “I’ve just got some kanji sheets to write out and some math homework. Then I’m going to bed.”
    “No problem. Do your best. Ganbare, as they say.” Diane’s cheerful tone had returned. I rose to take my plate to the sink.
    “Like I give a shit what they say.”
    “Hey, watch it. You know your mom wouldn’t be impressed with that kind of talk.”
    I paused, thinking of Mom. She was always a prude, which is why I was stunned to find out she’d dated someone unpredictable like Dad. Maybe he’d set her on the straight and narrow after he ran out on her. Kind of like Yuu Tomohiro was doing to Myu now.
    “Sorry,” I mumbled. “I just had a crazy day.”
    “I just… I hope you’ll be a little happier here with me,”
    Diane said gently. It was about the most serious voice I’d ever heard from her, and I suddenly felt like a jerk. She’d always been the piece that didn’t fit, Mom said, the one searching for herself on the other side of the world. Kind of the way I felt now. And even then she’d opened up her tiny world here for me when I’d needed her the most.
    “You’re right,” I said. “I’ll try.” Diane smiled, and I wondered if she realized we were both lost now, adrift together but somehow alone.
    The moment over, I headed to my room to suffer writer’s cramp copying pages and pages of kanji.
    I was sure Yuu Tomohiro would be waiting the next morning, leaning against the Suntaba plaque on the gate. I’d flipped through my dictionary after cram school, perfecting what I was going to say to