Indigo [Try Pink Act Two] Read Online Free PDF Page B

with
my ponytail. I watched her lips, ruby and wet, and wondered when I'd last
kissed her. We hadn't since we'd come together again.
    "Have you told anyone yet?" Declan pressed.
    "No. We were going to wait to see if we won the bid," I
said, my hands falling to Jilly's waist. Her smile melted to a grin and I felt
her stomach quiver against my hip.
    "You're both acting strange. You know that, right?"
Declan looked between us again. "Will you call Mom already?"
    "Yeah, I will," I said.
    "What are you going to do now?" he asked.
    "Paint the living room."
    After the final coat, Jilly cleaned up first while I capped the
paint. We'd do the borders tomorrow.
    ***
    I showered and joined her in the bedroom in time to see her
combing out her hair. It was longer now and darker when wet, but I liked it
just the same.
    "Why haven't you told your family anything?" she asked
while I pulled on my shorts.
    "It's not their business."
    "Declan's worried about you. You could tell him if you
wanted…"
    "Tell him what, Jillian? That I killed a man while he raped
my girlfriend? It's not exactly something I'm comfortable with saying."
The words left me in a tone I didn't mean and Jilly's expression changed from
calm to hurt.
    "You don't have to say it like that…"
    "I'm sorry. I just...I don't know how to talk to them. Or
anyone." I sat on the bed and leaned my elbows on my knees. She set the
brush down and watched me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so harsh."
    "I know," she said softly.
    "C'mere." I held my hand to her and she took it, joining
me on the bed. "I'm sorry."
    "I'm sorry you had to do that," she said. "And I'm
sorry I left you."
    "Either way, I would've ended up killing him."
    "At least this way you didn't go to jail."
    "That's the bright side." I laughed a little and she
smiled a bit.
    "And I'm not dead," she said.
    "No...You're not." I reached up and stroked her cheek
with the back of my hand. "Part of me expected to never see you again and
now I don't know what to do."
    "Me either. You're hard to read right now."
    "Declan hurt my side." I rubbed my ribs a little.
"When he hugged me."
    "That makes you hard to read?"
    "No, but it makes it harder to breathe."
    "And makes your expression blanker. You're really
blank," she said, brushing wet strands behind my ear.
    "I feel that way. You were afraid then blank, then afraid
again."
    "What am I now?" she asked, tilting her head.
    "Better. More like yourself."
    "I'm still me, Jess," she said, scooting back to lie
against the pillows. I followed her and turned on my unbroken side to face her.
"I'm still me. And I still love you. More than anything." Her words
traveled the space between us and brought a sting to my eyes, setting my
stifled emotions alight.
    "When I got out of the hospital the first time, I walked
around downtown Portland. There was this boy. He was looking for his sister who
was on drugs. He was just a kid looking for his sister, someone he cared about
a lot. I didn't even look for you, Jilly. I just accepted that
you left on your own accord. That I wasn't good enough and wasn't what you
needed. Or wanted." My voice cracked at the end and I couldn't hold on to
myself anymore. I let the blankness go and choked on a sob. "I keep
thinking that if I just looked for you, if I made any effort, I could've
stopped him before it got too bad for you."
    "One day, one hour with him was 'too bad,' Jess. Nothing you
could've done would've stopped that. It was my choice to leave. I knew what I
was going back to, but I also knew what I risked leaving. I figured, one day,
he'd get bored of me and I could just leave. He'd forget about you by then and
I could come back." She paused to caress my face while a fresh set of
tears streaked her cheeks.
    "Did you really believe that he'd hurt me?" I cried
softly and she pulled me against her. For once, I let her comfort me, but not
for too long.
    "I've seen what he was capable of. I just got so scared when
I saw him. I just...I had to."
    "I know. I saw