In a Heartbeat Read Online Free PDF

indefinitely. I wonder how far it goes. I don’t get tired, so I keep walking. The whole time, I feel the presence of others, but I don’t see anyone. Finally I get bored of the grayness.
    “Hey!” I call out. I hear background noise, as though it’s coming from far away, but it never gets any louder no matter which direction I turn. I half expect someone to jump out and scare me, to shout, “Gotcha!” and then I’ll wake up.
    Mom had a habit of sneaking up on me. But she’s not background noise. She’s more like white noise, a radio station that isn’t quite tuned into a signal. Just as I think this, another memory flashes in front of me.

    On my sixth birthday, Mom baked a double-layer chocolate cake. I licked the bowl after she stuck the cake in the oven, and I watched through the glass doors as it rose in two perfect circles.
    Then Mom decorated the cake with white frosting and drew six balloons in my favorite color, purple. In purple letters she wrote “Happy Birthday, Eagan!” across the top. The cake announced to the whole world that I was the birthday girl and I was special.
    I sat on the steps by the back door, waiting for Dad to get home from work so we could start the party. I had on my navy jumper and the black shiny shoes Grandpa and Grandma had sent me from Florida where they were vacationing.
    Dad finally arrived, and I spent the next half hour picking at my plate of Swiss steak and mashed potatoes. I only had eyes for that cake. Then Dad asked me what I wanted for my birthday.
    “I want a sister,” I said. A classmate had shown pictures of her new baby sister during show-and-tell, and I wanted one too.
    Dad bent down and kissed me on the forehead.
    “Now that’s quite a birthday wish.”
    But Mom’s lips pinched up real tight and her voice sounded high, like all the air had gone out of it. “Eagan, you don’t wish for things like that.”
    “Cheryl, she didn’t mean anything.”
    Mom was cutting my cake and shoving it onto plates. Chocolate crumbs flew across the blue and white checkered tablecloth. I hadn’t even blown out the candles yet. “Richard, don’t encourage her. You always take her side.”
    Mom looked down at me. Her eyes were angry. “We’re not having any more children, so don’t ever say that again.”
    Dad stood up. “I won’t let you do this to her, Cheryl. She’s not to blame.”
    “Are you saying that I am?”
    “No, of course not.”
    I wished I could take back my birthday wish. I didn’t know it would make Mom so upset.
    Mom was making a mess of things. She held the knife in the air and twirled it around then plunged it down into the center of the cake.
    “Eagan, go to your room. Your father and I are having a discussion.”
    That’s what she always said when they were going to yell at each other.
    But Dad stood up. “How can you do this? How can you ruin a little girl’s birthday?”
    “Don’t contradict me. I told her to go to her room.”
    I looked at my cake one last time before I went to my room. The layers of chocolate with creamy white in between. The six pink candles centered in each purple balloon. I hadn’t even had a bite of it. I felt like a prisoner sent to jail.
    From my room I heard them yelling. I heard Mom crying. I heard Dad’s low voice, hissing as he tried not to yell. Then I fell asleep on my bed, above the covers, waiting for them to come and get me and finish the party.
    The next morning, Dad nudged me awake. He sat on the edge of my bed with two presents in his hands. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
    Mom stood at the door holding a cup of coffee, smiling as though nothing had happened the night before.
    I ripped off the paper and ribbon. I got a new sweater and skirt and an Olympic Skater Barbie. I wound up my Barbie and watched her spin around in her blue and purple outfit, her perfect hair flipping up and down. “Thanks, Mommy and Daddy.”
    “You’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m off to work now.” Dad kissed me on the