âjockâ and a poetry studentâ¦thatâs all I really knowâhe eventually got his PhD in modern poetry from Indiana University.)
Heâs deadâ¦Heâs deadâ¦Heâs gone foreverâ¦
Thoughts like that can still crush me like boulders.
At one point, we visited an athletic facility with this glass case at the front that contained a giant picture of my dadâgiant black hair bursting from his headâcrushing a tennis ball. He was a national champion in tennis. The big-knuckled running backs coach barked, âYouâre a legacy, Felton. Wouldnât it be excellent to grow the Reinstein legend right here where it started?â
Iâm not going to Northwestern , I thought. The Reinstein legend includes dangling from your neck in a garage.
My poor dad. My poor grandpa. Poor Jerri. My poor little brother.
Sad Felton too. That Sunday was the last time I saw Aleah for nine months.
Chapter 8
University of Sexpot
Over the course of the next month, I barely thought about recruiting (although recruiters thought about meâI got dozens of texts a day and Jerri screamed and yanked the phone out of the wall once because the constant ringing apparently made studying accounting very difficult).
There was homecoming, which Grandpa Stan and Andrew came up for. I didnât go to the dance because Aleah had another damn recital that night in Chicago, plus she was acting weird, plus Iâd never been to a school dance and I didnât feel like treading those waters, even though Cody said I might be named homecoming king (I wasnât even on homecoming court), plus Andrew wanted to go to Steveâs Pizza with Bony Emily, his best friend, and I like pizza, so I went with them and they talked about stuff I didnât know anything about, but I ate a lot so I was happyâ¦plusâ¦whatever. We destroyed Prairie du Chien in the game. Killed. I killed them, which apparently made Grandpa Stan weird out.
Sunday morning, sitting at Country Kitchen, Grandpa Stan stared at me. âYou doing okay, my friend?â he asked.
I stared back. Andrew stared at the side of my head. Lots of staring. âSure. Pretty great.â
âYou ever feel sad? Maybe itâs hard that Andrew moved to live with me?â
I stared some more. Andrewâs stare made my ear feel itchy. âMe?â
âYou? Sad?â Grandpa said.
âSad. Sure. Who doesnât feel sad?â
âI donât,â Andrew said.
A year and a half earlier, Andrew had refused to come into the house. Heâd burned all his clothes and shaved his head. He lived like a caveman in the freaking garden. âI witnessed your total breakdown,â I said, turning to him. Staring at him.
âThat was then. This is now,â Andrew said.
âBack to you, Felton. You all right?â Grandpa asked.
âIâ¦I think so?â I said.
âYou sure loved stomping on your opponents in the game the other night.â
âThatâs my job,â I said. âDestroy.â
âIâd like you to think about that some,â Grandpa said.
âThink?â I asked.
âMeditate on it,â he said.
âHow do I do that?â I asked.
âThink. Weâll talk some more when you come down for the holidays,â he said.
âToviâs coming down for winter break too,â Andrew said.
At that moment, my Farmers Breakfast was delivered in a sizzling cast iron skillet! Delicious.
We had a nice weekend.
***
And then another conference game and then three playoff games in two weeks, which culminated in the state championship game against Ashwaubenon, which was a struggle into the third quarter before Cody, Karpinski, and Kirk Johnson blew it open with passing, so we won big.
For three days after the game, it felt like the whole school celebrated, the whole town really. There were banners on Main Street and we all rode on top of a fire truck and the marching band