I'm Not Scared Read Online Free PDF Page B

mother was at her wits’ end. Haven’t you got any consideration for the poor woman? She’s always having to wait for her husband, she shouldn’t have to wait for you too. And what happened to your sister’s glasses?’
    He wasn’t really angry. When he was really angry his eyes bulged like a toad’s. He was happy to be home.
    My sister looked at me.
    â€˜We built a hut by the stream.’ I took the glasses out of my pocket. ‘And they got broken.’
    He spat out a cloud of smoke. ‘Come over here. Let’s see.’
    Papa was a small man, thin and restless. When he sat in the driving seat of his truck he almost vanished behind the wheel. He had black hair, smoothed down with brilliantine. A rough white beard on his chin. He smelt of Nazionali and eau de cologne.
    I gave him the glasses.
    â€˜They’re a write-off.’ He put them on the table and said: ‘That’s it. No more glasses.’
    My sister and I looked at each other.
    â€˜What am I going to do?’ she asked anxiously.
    â€˜Go without. That’ll teach you.’
    My sister was speechless.
    â€˜She can’t. She can’t see,’ I interposed.
    â€˜Who cares?’
    â€˜But …’
    â€˜No buts.’ And he said to mama: ‘Teresa, give me that parcel on the kitchen cabinet.’
    Mama brought it over. Papa unwrapped it and took out a hard velvety blue case. ‘Here you are.’
    Maria opened it and inside was a pair of glasses with brown plastic frames.
    â€˜Try them on.’
    Maria put them on, but kept stroking the case.
    Mama asked her: ‘Do you like them?’
    â€˜Yes. They’re lovely. The box is beautiful.’ And she went to look at herself in the mirror.
    Papa poured himself another glass of wine.
    â€˜If you break these, next time you’ll go without, do you understand?’ Then he took me by the arm. ‘Let me feel that muscle.’
    I bent my arm and stiffened it.
    He squeezed my biceps. ‘I don’t think you’ve improved. Are you doing your press-ups?
    â€˜Yes.’
    I hated doing press-ups. Papa wanted me to do them because he said I was puny.
    â€˜It’s not true,’ said Maria. ‘He’s not doing them.’
    â€˜I do them now and again. Almost always.’
    â€˜Come here.’ I sat on his knee too and tried to kiss him. ‘Don’t you kiss me, you’re all dirty. If you want to kiss your father, you’ve got to wash first. Teresa, what shall we do, send them to bed without supper?’
    Papa had a nice smile, perfect white teeth. Neither my sister nor I has inherited them.
    Mama replied without even turning round.
    â€˜It’d be no more than they deserve! I can’t stand any more of these two.’ She really was angry.
    â€˜Let’s say this. If they want to have supper and get the present I’ve brought them, Michele’s got to beat me at arm-wrestling. Otherwise, bed with no supper.’
    He’d brought us a present!
    â€˜You and your jokes …’ Mama was too happy that papa was home again. When papa went away her stomach hurt, and the more time passed the less she talked. After a month she went completely mute.
    â€˜Michele can’t beat you. It’s not fair,’ said my sister.
    â€˜Michele, show your sister what you can do. And keep those legs apart. If you sit crooked you’ll lose straight away and there’ll be no present.’
    I got into position. I clenched my teeth and gripped papa’s hand and started to push. Nothing. He didn’t budge.
    â€˜Go on! Have you got ricotta instead of muscles? You’re weaker than a gnat! Put your back into it, for God’s sake!’
    I murmured: ‘I can’t do it.’
    It was like bending an iron bar.
    â€˜You’re a sissy, Michele. Maria, help him, come on!’
    My sister climbed on the table and together, gritting our teeth and breathing through our