If You're Gone Read Online Free PDF Page A

park. I darted across the sidewalk and into the dark alleyway, moving as fast as I could yet feeling like I was dragging my body through quicksand. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking as I stumbled into the shadowy alley. I began anxiously searching the spaces behind empty dumpsters and abandoned pallets.
    “Brad!” I cried out, my voice cracking as I yelled. His name echoed into the night. “Brad? Are you there?”
    Frozen in place, I held my breath and prayed a frantic prayer. Please let him be here. Please Lord, let me hear him. Please let me see him.
    But there was no response from Brad, no sign of life, not even an alley cat. I was alone.
    “Brad,” I sputtered, clutching his ring. “Where are you?”
    I placed my hands on my knees as I caught my breath, letting my head hang. The cool rain dropped against my back while I panted. I heard footsteps rushing towards me and looked up, peering through ragged strands of hair that had fallen across my face. Anna and Thomas, followed by Mandy and Tess who were huddled together under a polka dot umbrella, stared at me with wide eyes as they approached.
    “Lillian, are you okay?” Anna clutched my shoulder, crouching to meet my eyes. “What did you see?”
    I imagined him.
    “It was nothing,” I whispered. I tried to stand tall, but I suddenly felt as though bricks were tied to my chest. A dull ache took over my entire body, beginning at the top of my skull and working its way to the tips of my pink toenails. My eyelids were heavy; I was exhausted. My face was wet but I couldn’t tell if it was from the rain or if I was crying.
    “I’m so sorry,” Anna shook her head as she spoke. She wrapped her arms around me in a hug and my knees went weak as I melted into her grasp.
    I felt Thomas’s arm come across my back as Tess held the umbrella over us. We stood there for several minutes, huddled together in the dark alleyway. When our group released the embrace, I straightened up and watched as a poster slipped from the stack in Anna’s hand and fell into a small puddle at my feet. I kept my eyes fixed on Brad’s face as the ink dissolved into the water, his silhouette disappearing from the paper. The bricks in my chest were weighing me down again. I wanted to collapse onto the ground. Even on paper, he was gone.
     
A Kiss Can Change Your World
     
    Anna held my hand as I sauntered back to her car. With every step the atmosphere seemed to grow colder and thinner; I could smell the chill in the air. Thomas opened the passenger door and Anna helped me into the bucket seat. My knees were shaking as I sank into the cushions.
    “We should hang these posters up before we head back. Is that okay with you?” Anna spoke slowly and softly, as though I were a fragile child.
    “Of course that’s okay.”
    “One of us should stay here with her,” Tess told them under her breath.
    “I’m fine.” I shook my head. “I want to be alone.”
    “Okay, Lil, we will be right outside the car if you need us. Lock the doors.”
    Anna pushed the passenger door shut and stepped up onto the sidewalk with the others. She started handing out small stacks of Brad’s posters to the group but I had to turn away. I couldn't watch them plaster his face all over our town like he was some kind of wanted felon. I held back tears as I wrapped my arms around myself, overcome with a chill from the night air. The cold reminded me of Brad. It reminded me of love and how my life had changed forever on an unsuspecting snowy day, six months before. As I nestled into the seat, I closed my eyes and remembered that day like it was a movie playing out in my head.
    ****
    It was late November, and the snow from the night before lay thick on the grass and road in front of me. A snow day with Anna had come to an end, and I headed home as her mother and stepfather sat down for dinner. We knew school would inevitably be canceled the following day, for the sky had opened up again and quarter-size flakes