If You Could See Me Now Read Online Free PDF

and nodded. My mouth was watering.
    Elizabeth hurried back into the kitchen just as Luke was reaching up to the shelf.
    “What are you doing?” she asked, rummaging through a drawer for something.
    “Getting the olives for Ivan,” Luke explained. “He likes olives on his pizza, remember?”
    She looked across to the kitchen table and saw that it had been set for three. She rubbed her eyes tiredly. “Look Luke, don’t you think it’s a waste of food, putting the olives on the pizza? You hate them and I’ll only have to throw it out.”
    “Well, it won’t be a waste because Ivan will eat them, won’t you, Ivan?”
    “I sure will,” I said, licking my lips and rubbing my aching tummy.
    “Well?” Elizabeth cocked an eyebrow. “What did he say?”
    Luke frowned. “You mean you can’t hear him either?” He looked at me and circled his forefinger around his temple, signaling to me that his aunt was crazy. “He said he sure will eat them all.”
    “How polite of him,” Elizabeth mumbled, continuing to rummage through the drawer. “But you better make sure every last crumb is gone because it’ll be the last time Ivan eats with us if not.”
    “Don’t worry, Elizabeth, I’ll gobble it all right up,” I told her, taking a bite. I couldn’t face not being able to eat with Luke and his aunt again. She had sad eyes. Sad brown eyes and I was convinced that I was going to make her happy by eating every last crumb. I ate quickly.
    ...
    “Thanks, Colm,” Elizabeth said tiredly, taking the car keys from the Garda.
    “Saoirse was out of the car in less than five minutes and we found it straightaway,” he explained.
    She circled the car slowly, inspecting the paintwork closely.
    “There’s no damage done,” Colm said, watching her.
    “Not to the car anyway.” She attempted a joke, patting the bonnet. She always felt embarrassed. At least once a week there was some sort of incident involving the Gardaí and although they were never anything but professional and polite about the situation she couldn’t help feeling ashamed. She would work even harder in their presence to appear “normal” just to prove that it wasn’t her fault, and that it wasn’t the entire family that was nuts. She wiped down the splashes of dried mud with a tissue.
    Colm smiled at her sadly. “She was arrested, Elizabeth.”
    Elizabeth’s head shot up, now fully alert. “Why?” she asked in shock. They had never done that before. They had always given Saoirse a warning and then dropped her back to wherever she was staying. Unprofessional, she knew, but in such a small town where everyone knew everyone, they had always just kept their eye on Saoirse, stopping her before she did anything incredibly stupid. But Elizabeth feared Saoirse had been warned once too many.
    Colm fidgeted with the navy blue Garda cap in his hands. “She was drunk driving, Elizabeth, in a stolen car, and she doesn’t even have a license.”
    Hearing those words caused a shiver through Elizabeth’s body. Saoirse was a danger. Why did she keep protecting her sister? When would the words finally sink in with her? When would she learn to accept that they were right, that her sister would never be the angel she wished her to be?
    “But the car wasn’t stolen,” Elizabeth stammered, “I told her that she c—”
    “Don’t, Elizabeth.” Colm’s voice was firm.
    She had to hold her hand across her mouth to stop herself. She took a deep breath and tried to regroup, tried to regain control. “She has to go to court?” Her voice was a whisper.
    Colm looked down at the ground and moved a stone around with his foot. “Yes. It’s not just about her harming herself anymore. She’s a danger to others now.”
    Elizabeth swallowed hard and nodded. “One more chance, Colm.” She gulped, feeling her pride disintegrating. “Just give her one more chance . . . please.” The last word pained her to have to say. Every bone in her body pleaded with him. Elizabeth