I Still Love You Read Online Free PDF Page B

each other and kissed for the first time. We’d both known it was going to go there. Then everything had spun out into the chaos that was us. We were chaos together. But good chaos… Or we had been good chaos.
    I broke the kiss breathing hard.
    “I want to have sex with you… ” he said into my mouth. “Out here… ”
    “There’s a lot of people in the house and it’s cold.”
    “My Rachel never cared about stuff like that. I seem to remember it was fucking freezing when you dragged me into an alley outside that club in New York, where a couple of thousand people were passing by.”
    He was right. “But that was when my bipolar had free reins and used to run riot. It’s not rioting now.”
    He moved forward in the chair. His hands gripping under my thighs. “Well I am rioting now, but not in this chair, they’ll see us from the window.”
    “Jason… ” My heart started thumping as he stood up, picking me up and lifting me with him. I wrapped my legs about his waist, and my arms about his neck so I didn’t fall. He was serious. I laughed, it broke out of me, and it was a laugh that felt different.
    “Over there.” He nodded at the dark corner over by the side of the house, the fence came into the house at an angle and there was a little triangle tucked around the side that you couldn’t see into unless you were at the end of garden, and in the dark, you probably wouldn’t be able to see into it at all. A pulse of excitement skittered around my nerves as he walked us across the deck to the dark corner.
    “You’re being naughty. ”
    “It was you who taught me how to be naughty.”
    “Is this why you wanted to leave Saint at home so you could be wicked in their back garden?”
    “I left Saint at home because I thought we both need a bit of wicked time every now and then. Hold on tight I’m going down the steps.” He breathed the words into my ear.
    We reached the dark corner and he let my legs slide down to the floor. It wasn’t so dark, if anyone came out here they’d see me, my white dress captured the moonlight.
    “We need to get these off for a start.” His hands slid up to grip my panties, underneath my dress, and then he began slipping them down. I’d worn a white lacy thong to go with the dress.
    “These feel interesting, I missed these when you were getting dressed.”
    He dropped to his knees and I laughed as his head disappeared under the long skirt of the dress. The laugh was nervous but it was a different sort of nervous, it was an excited nervous. I gripped his head through the fabric as he slid my panties down and kissed my most sensitive spot. “Oh.” I laughed, again.
    Memories of all the anxious, desperate sex we’d shared when we were first together spurred in my mind. His finger slipped into me. Just one, teasing, finger.
    “Yes…” he asked me for permission, with a sensual sound in his pitch.
    This was him fixing us.
    “Yes.” I wanted us to be fixed. “I like having a Zombie eating me up between my legs, when do you start on my brain? Soon…”
    A rumble of laughter reverberated beneath my dress, and the heat and vibration did delicious things.
    “Very soon… ”
    I rocked my hips against his invasion, and looked up at the stars, it was so cold that I had goose-bumps on my arms, and my breath steamed in the night air, but I didn’t care now, I could freeze to death, I’d rather die like this. He was starting on my brain, eating up my conscious thought and flooding me with a cocktail of lust and love.
    I pulled his head more against me as his tongue touched me as well as his fingers, and it was all sensation, because I couldn’t see him under my dress.
    His free hand gripped my thigh, and it cupped it in a way that said he was protecting me, holding me steady as I rocked against his invasion. The night may be cold, but my temperature was rising, and feelings were breaking through the chains of my meds.
    We’d been having sex, but it had been boring. It was