I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide Read Online Free PDF Page B

some things you can try:
○Try more indirect touching. For many women, the head (glans) of the clitoris is too sensitive to touch, or may quickly become oversensitive. Try focusing stimulation only on the shaft (that’s often the main part womenlike touched), or other nearby parts of her vulva that might tug or vibrate the skin around the clitoris gently without touching it directly. For some women, the nerves in the clit are so sensitive that it’s best to stimulate it through her fleshy outer lips (fingers on the outside of her outer lips, clit on the inside).
how do women get wet?
AS WOMEN GET turned on, their vaginas usually lubricate, creating sometimes considerable quantities (sometimes not so much) of slippery wetness that can help make touch and penetration feel great. Women’s bodies have the capability to start getting wet within just seconds of the beginning of mental or physical stimulation. Where does this lovely liquid magically appear from? In early arousal, extra blood rushes to the genitals. The lubricating fluid, or transudate, is actually a colorless component of blood. It contains water, pyridine, squalene, urea, acetic acid, lactic acid, complex alcohols and glycols, ketones, and aldehydes. You can’t just cook this stuff up with a chemistry set! It’s squeezed through the vaginal walls, making the walls of a woman’s vagina so nice and slippery.
Adding store-bought lube can also be a wonderful thing; see page 133 for more on this.
Sometimes I find it’s necessary to rub to the side or above or below the clit, rather than directly on top of it. It often feels better than the painful sensation that can happen as a result of rubbing directly on the clit.
○Take lots of mini-breaks. Some clits respond best to an approach that’s a bit like, “Two steps forward, take a break, allow arousal to slide back a step, then start up again.” Try lots of on-again, off-again clitoral attention, with periods of a few seconds or a few minutes without any clitoral stimulation, until you reach the orgasmic home stretch. (At that point, you’ll probably want to stay with it.)
○Keep it really wet. If you’re touching your (or her) clit with your fingers, keep rewetting with saliva or lube, or “dip into the honeypot” frequently (dip your fingers into your/her vagina, if it’s quite wet).
○Partners can study what the woman does when she masturbates (if she does and is comfortable sharing the experience with you). Pay particular attention to how direct or indirect her stimulation is, what kind of motion she’s using (up and down, back and forth, circles, most of the focus on one side or the other, etc.), how gentle or hard her pressure is, and how frequently she adds wetness.
○Be gentle. This is especially true early on. If you’re the partner, ask her for feedback about whether a lighter touch might help or if she’d prefer more focus on other parts of her body.
○Recognize that some days, female orgasm is just not meant to be. Sex (including masturbation) is an imperfect art: Some days it’s glorious, some days it’s “good enough,” some days it just doesn’t work at all. That’s not cause for alarm, and definitely not reason to worry that the love is over, or that you and your partner aren’t meant for each other. Have a sense of humor, and remember that most women can be quite satisfied without an orgasm.
grow your O
A QUICKIE CAN be perfect sometimes, but in general, the longer the buildup, the bigger the orgasm. If you’re getting too close too fast, back off the stimulation and bring yourself back up a few times for bigger fireworks.
I find that when I’m close to orgasm, if I stop and wait a minute or so and then continue, and do this over and over again as a way of teasing myself, when I finally do come, it’s a lot more intense.
beyond the clitoris and the vagina
SOMETIMES PARTNERS NEED a reminder that there are other erogenous zones besides what’s between a woman’s legs.