I Like You Just the Way I Am Read Online Free PDF

two, the fact that my mom didn’t have any problem with her barely-out-of-college, anorexic, underemployed daughter getting engaged to a kid who lived on the other side of the world.
    “Mom, can I speak to you alone for a minute?” I said.
    Once we were in her bedroom with the door securely shut, I lost it. “What were you thinking, letting that happen!”
    “What do you mean? You aren’t happy? But you love Bruno.”
    “I’m twenty-two years old. I don’t know what I love!”
    “So you don’t want to move to the next level with your relationship? You guys have been together for two whole years.”
    “Mom, I know that sounds like a long time to you, but imagine if you’d married the guy you were dating at twenty-two.”
    “I did,” she said.
    “Exactly!”
    Eventually she apologized and promised to be on my team for the remainder of Bruno’s stay (about eight more hours).
    Knowing Bruno and I had some talking to do, mom and her dildo with a face retreated to his apartment across the hall. Bruno was busy throwing around all his low-cut V-necks when I finally asked if we could talk.
    “ Es gibt nichts zu sagen, Jenny,” he said, unwilling to talk.
    “I’m really sorry. I just think we are both too young to be doing something like getting married.”
    “Who’s talking about being married? This is about being engaged. Promising ourselves to each other for all of eternity, like our tear lockets.”
    “Maybe what you really mean is you want me to wear a promise ring?”
    “What’s that?”
    “Well,” I said, “it signifies that we’re in an exclusive relationship but not making any rash decisions about the future. I’ll totally wear it if we can agree that’s what it symbolizes.” In the right light, the ring did kind of look cute on me.
    “No!” he said, snatching the ring off my hand. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with these. I can’t return them.”
    “Them?”
    Bruno reached into his purple nylon duffel bag and produced a matching ring. “I got myself one too.”
    Things were getting worse by the minute. Bruno not only wanted to be engaged, but he also wanted to wear matching engagement rings, and to top it all off, his finger was thinner than mine!
    Bruno picked up the phone and called himself a cab while I thought about how to diet my finger down to a more competitive size. He glared at me as he rattled off my mother’s address and asked that the car come as soon as possible. I followed Bruno down to the lobby, trying desperately to assuage his animosity.
    “I don’t want you to leave on bad terms,” I said, noticing a cab painted like a mini Shamu wearing a birthday hat pull up behind us.
    “Jen, it’s too late.” He was somber. The smiling Shamu face seemed to mock him behind his back.
    “You’re not going to kill yourself, are you?” I asked, half worried and half curious.
    Bruno didn’t answer, but he did hand me back the engagement ring.
    “Keep it, throw it in a drawer, it doesn’t matter,” he said, defeated, before locking himself inside Shamu’s belly and driving away.
    I didn’t speak to Bruno for several weeks after that and was completely devastated in the way all twenty-two-year-olds are when their first long-distance lover tries to pirate their future. When we did speak, things seemed different. It was as if we’d peeked into the future and realized that for us, as a couple, there wasn’t one. Our fear of change kept us on the phone and in denial for a good three months more before I finally lashed out and fucked my forty-year-old circumcized neighbor.
    As time went on, Bruno and I eventually lost touch completely. From time to time, I do think of him. I hope that he’s able to look back on our time together with fondness. I really do wish the best for him. But he isn’t on Facebook, Twitter, JDate, or any other social media site I’ve searched, so it’s safe to assume he killed himself.

 
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    All the Best Men Are Either Gay, Married, or