I Hated to Do It: Stories of a Life Read Online Free PDF Page A

truly most fascinating, talented, unusual human being.
    Annie’s Seventieth and Endorsement Ads
    It was in a small Burmese restaurant on West 56th Street where Annie, I, and David Markson were waiting for Kurt, who was running quite late. When Kurt finally arrived, he apologized for being late and he said to Annie, “I’m sorry, I won’t be able to come to your seventieth birthday party.”
    We had been planning this important date as a surprise party, and Annie may or may not have known at that time that it was happening. David let Kurt know by telling him, “Nice going, Kurt, you blew it, the party was supposed to be a surprise for Annie.”
    Kurt responded, “Oh shit, Annie, I brought you a present.” The present was the original vodka ad, not a print, but the original 1/1, which Kurt had signed with “Happy Birthday to Darling Annie Farber on April 24th, 1995. Kurt Vonnegut.” This particular ad was very special, and it was one that was well-known at the time in advertising circles and among Kurt’s fans. It was Kurt’s self-portrait of his face, and his hands were putting together a cat’s cradle with string. In the middle of the ad was a vodka bottle that was labeled “Absolut Vodka.” Annie was more than pleased to have the present, and I am sure she already knew the party was coming.
    Kurt had very strong feelings about what he would permit his name to be used for in advertising. As everyone knew, Kurt was a cigarette smoker who often jokingly remarked that he was going to sue the tobacco company because they said the cigarettes would kill him and that didn’t happen. While he did permit the vodka ad with his likeness, he was adamant about and would never permit an ad for any kind of tobacco product. He knew he was hooked but did not want to contribute in any way to encouraging others to become addicted to tobacco.
    Slaughterhouse-Five
    Kurt really lived in that Slaughterhouse Five when he was captured by the Nazis. And it is a true story that Kurt and those in the slaughterhouse survived the bombing of Dresden only because they were in that slaughterhouse. Kurt and I often bantered about our army careers but only in a very peripheral way. We had both suffered and seen too much killing to want to actually relive the pain of seeing comrades dying.
    Kurt, always in good humor, ridiculed my military service because I was not captured by the Germans. He would insist that I could not surrender to the Nazis, even if I had to, because I didn’t know the language. At the time Kurt was captured he was a scout, and it was the scout who was out ahead of the platoon. I told him I wasn’t dumb enough to get out there in front of the platoon and get caught.
    I did tell Kurt that I was as lucky as he was, since I was getting shot at as an infantryman when I was ordered to work in Division Headquarters seven miles behind the lines. They needed help with the casualty reports and I could read, write, and type and had helped the company clerk when we were in the States. Two weeks after I moved to headquarters, I picked up the casualty reports to learn that my entire company was wiped out crossing a little stream, the Roer in Germany. I think there was one other survivor who happened to be sick in the hospital and missed the crossing. Our military service was just one other thing that Kurt and I shared in common, both being close to unbelievable.
    We know that military life and serving in the infantry during a war like that can affect one’s life in many ways. There is no doubt that this experience influenced Kurt’s writing as it influenced other facets of his life. He could not have written
Slaughterhouse-Five
if he had not been captured and in that slaughterhouse at that time. But the particular response by the person who was Kurt Vonnegut to the bombing of Dresden could only have come from my friend, the Kurt Vonnegut that I knew. All of which makes one wonder, what other writer of note would have survived that