table for me. Noah typically joins me and the kids try not to be too obvious about staring at us.
Noah doesn’t show up this morning, though. He’s probably sleeping in, lucky dog. I eat, totally unaware of whether what I’m eating tastes good or not, because I’m busy trying to keep myself from thinking about Luke. There’s such an explosion of confusion dancing in my stomach right now. I’m getting equal amounts of good feelings brought on by memories of playing Xbox with him, curling up in his lap, the way he was never content just letting me be quiet and non-committal - and just plain awful feelings. You know, the way his eyes have a bad habit of turning blood-red and the fact that he built our relationship on a lie.
Combine all of that with the fact that I’ll be out alone, in the garden, trying to weave a pretty complicated healing spell all on my lonesome, and, well, I’m just not all that hungry. Gonna have to force some food down though. Magic is like a muscle. It wears out and gets fatigued and needs extra fuel to get strong. It also gets stronger the more you use it and atrophies when you don’t. I’ve spent, you know, my whole life not using my magic, so as you can imagine, I’m going to have to work to make it as strong as it should be for someone my age.
When breakfast is done, I wander outside. The sun is just beginning to rise and there’s a coat of frost on the ground, shining in the early morning light. My breath puffs in front of my face and I’m thankful I thought to bring a jacket. Even though I’m the only person out here, somewhere, somehow, they’re bound to be watching me. As much as I’d like to procrastinate, you know, take my time, maybe hike back to that place near the river and see if I can make the light dance on the water like Noah did, I square my shoulders and march back to my station.
With the days getting shorter and colder, and with frost coating the ground most mornings, the garden is suffering. I’ve been tasked with healing a small section of the garden. If that goes well, I’m supposed to try a small protection spell to see if i can keep the flowers from dying in the cold. The healing spell will be difficult because I’m basically fighting mother nature and that’s kind of a big no-no. I know I’ll be worn out after I finish. I’ve mastered the protection spell, getting that one off will just be a matter of having enough stamina.
There’s a bench waiting for me and someone thought to leave a cup of hot chocolate. Someone who knows I really don’t like coffee. I smile and mouth a ‘thank you’ to Noah - like I said, I don’t know how they’re watching, but I do know they’re watching - before taking a big drink. Of course, they’ve got me in a spot that’s been most affected by the cold. Flowers wilted and dead. Leaves totally evacuating branches, leaving them sparse and angular, little black fingers reaching out across the rose-colored sky.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes, ignoring the rumble of worry in my stomach. My tiger is right there waiting, tail swishing impatiently. She doesn’t like being cooped up for as long as I have to keep her cooped up. If she had her way, I’d be using my magic all day every day, loosing her from my mind to play.
With a word, I summon her and the worry subsides having her at my side. I ruffle the fur between her ears as I work on expanding the edges of my focus, kind of reaching out with my magic like I’m trying to stretch my arms extra wide. Another nervous little breath escapes my parted lips and I bite it off. Nerves will get me nowhere. Action will get me everywhere.
“Sanitas valitudo.” I chant the words over and over, focusing on the plants inside the reach of my power. There’s that little pop of my magic kicking into action and calm rushes through me, chasing worry away. Healing magic comes from deep inside, a place of peace and tranquility. It’s impossible to cast if the witch is upset or