How to Ruin My Teenage Life Read Online Free PDF Page B

gotta love Jewish women. You’re Israeli.”
    â€œThat’s not the point. You used my credit card without asking.”
    â€œYeah, well, I don’t exactly have one of my own.”
    I swear I hear him praising that fact under his breath.
    The doorbell rings. Mutt is going nuts, barking nonstop. “Arg! Arg! Arg! Arg!” It gets my dad’s attention. He’s afraid he’ll have to pay a fine if we get too many complaints from the neighbors about Mutt’s excessive barking. I’m saved from my dad’s rant for now. Thank you, Mutt!
    â€œStay here,” my dad orders, leaving my room.
    So now I’m sitting on my bed, alone once again. And I’m grounded. I wonder how long I’ll be stuck here before he gives in.
    â€œAmy, come here!” he calls out.
    â€œYeah?” I say innocently as I head to the foyer of our condo. Dad is holding Mutt’s collar, holding him back from jumping on and sniffing the crotch of whoever is at the door. I’ve had the talk with Mutt, but he doesn’t listen. I don’t know what the big deal about crotches is. I assume once you’ve smelled one, you’ve smelled them all. Not that I’d know. I have no desire to go near anyone else’s to test my theory.
    â€œYou know Mrs. Keener, don’t you?”
    I scan the suit and tailored attire of the woman, sure she hasn’t smiled in at least a year. Can she pull that 1970s bun tighter on her skull? I turn my gaze to the person beside her. Oh, no. It’s Concerned Citizen Boy, in the flesh.
    Mrs. Keener pushes him closer to us and directs her conversation to my dad. “This is my nephew, Nathan. He’s come to live with us for a while.” She shakes her head as she says, “It’s a long story. I know your daughter is about the same age and was wondering if she’d be able to show him around the city.”
    Nathan looks about as happy as I do to be in this situation. But I suppose being grounded and stuck in my room is worse than being stuck with Nathan Keener.
    Nathan Keener.
    Just the name alone could get a kid beat up.
    â€œAmy’s grounded,” my dad says.
    Thanks a lot for sharing that humiliating piece of information, Dad .
    â€œOh,” Mrs. Keener says, obviously put in an awkward situation.
    â€œBut I guess if she takes Mutt for a walk, she could go out for a bit—”
    Needing no further push, I grab Mutt’s leash off our hall tree and snap it on his collar. “Come on, Nathan,” I call over my shoulder as I hurry to the elevator with a very excited and very large puppy.
    Nathan, it seems, needs no further push either. He follows right behind me and enters the elevator as soon as Mutt and I step inside.
    We have no elevator music in our building, so it’s just silence except for heavy panting courtesy of my dog.
    â€œYou don’t have to babysit me, you know,” he says while crossing his arms over his chest, trying to look tough. He doesn’t.
    â€œYour aunt seems to think I do,” I reply.
    The elevator door opens. Nathan Keener is right behind me, not missing a step when I exit our building. But once I turn toward the dog park, I don’t hear his footsteps behind me anymore. Turning around, I find Nathan walking in the opposite direction. With his long, corduroy-wrapped legs, he’s already half a block away.
    Mutt is pulling me toward the park. “Hey, Nathan!” I yell, but the guy doesn’t turn around. Now what am I supposed to do?

6
    Chicken soup can help heal you
when you’re sick. Is there a recipe for healing
relationships?
    If you can believe it, I found out this morning Nathan Keener is going to my school, a private prep school called Chicago Academy. Yep, it’s true. I also have the pleasure of sitting behind him in English class and he’s even in gym class with me. It wouldn’t be so bad, but he’s already the talk of the entire