How to Ruin a Summer Vacation (Ruined Series #1) Read Online Free PDF Page A

stay put. I watch as he enters the small one-story house.
    The windows are open in the car, but there's no breeze. And it's not only hot, I think the devil himself must live on this mountain because sweat is pouring down my face, neck, and chest. My Abercrombie & Fitch shirt has wet marks on it already from disgusting armpit sweat.
    How can these people stand the heat? I look at my nail before biting on it. What is Ron saying to them? Is he sweating as much as I am? I hope so.
    I step out of the car and lean against the side of it, listening for the scolding Safta should be giving Ron. Boy is he going to get it. If I were Safta I'd rip him a new one for denying her, well, me. But I don't hear yelling. In fact, I don't hear much coming from the house.
    Instead, something hits my arm. Hard.
    "Hey!" I yell and panic.
    I'm not stupid, I know it's not a bullet. Not that I wouldn't be surprised if Ron's family decided "do away" with his illegitimate daughter once they heard the truth.
    As I have that thought, I look down and see the offending object.
    A soccer ball.
    " Tizreki le'kan" a voice bellows from behind the car. As if I can understand. But I can't, so I ignore it. Besides, I already feel a bruise forming on my arm.
    The sound of running footsteps echoes before I'm face to face with an Israeli boy about my age.
    "Shalom" he says.
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    He's wearing jeans, has a dusty and ripped white T-shirt on, and is wearing Greek sandals. You know, the ones like the Greek philosophers wore. But that's not the worst part. The guy is wearing white socks along with the sandals. Socks with sandals! Seeing that makes me laugh so I look up at his face instead of his feet. I don't want to insult the guy.
    "Hi," I say.
    Does he speak English? I don't know so I just stand there in silence.
    Two more boys run up to us. One starts to talk to the boy in Hebrew but becomes silent when he notices me.
    "I America," I say slowly and loud like I'm talking to a chimpanzee. I'm hoping by some miracle they'll understand me.
    They turn to each other with confused looks on their faces and I realize these next three months are going to be like living in a bubble. A bubble with people who don't understand a word I'm saying, except for the Sperm Donor. Could my summer vacation be ruined more?
    The first boy steps closer to me. He has dark blond hair and a rugged, boyish grin. I know, I know, rugged and boyish don't really go together. But on this guy it does, trust me. "You speak English?" he asks with a heavy accent.
    Huh? "Yes. Do you?"
    "Yes. But what does 'I America' mean?"
    "Nothing. Just forget it."
    "You a friend us not?" he asks.
    Huh? Obviously his English isn't good. Was he asking if I'm a friend or not? I'm almost afraid to say no. "Yes."
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    The second guy turns to me. "What's your name?"
    "Amy."
    "Hi Amy, I'm Doo-Doo," he says. Then he points to the other two guys. "And this is Moron and O'dead."
    Now, I've never said these four words in a row before. In fact, I don't think they've ever come out of someone less than the age of sixty, but they come out of my mouth almost automatically.
    "I beg your pardon?" I say. My eyes are squinting as if that would clear my ears so I could hear right.
    They all look at me like I'm the one who's got the problem. I have this urge to burst out laughing. But I suppress it because they obviously don't get the joke. Which actually makes it all the more funny. Okay, so some parts of my trip are actually going to be amusing.
    But my amusement fades as another guy comes up to us. He's got dark brown hair that matches his eyes. And he's tall, bronzed, and wearing no shirt. He has jeans hugging those slender hips of his, a washboard stomach, and by every measure he's just about the toughest looking teenager I've ever seen.
    "Americayit," Moron says, pointing to me.
    No-shirt guy says some stuff to Doo-Doo, Moron, and O'dead in Hebrew and ignores me completely. Which just proves one of my many theories ...the gorgeous guys