How to Kill Yourself in a Small Town Read Online Free PDF

it was stored in my brain, I’d take a knife
and gouge it out so I wouldn’t have to think about how stupid I was, how bad I
fucked up.
    Mikal’s
laugh jangled around inside my head like chain links.
    Fuck
you, I told her. But the last of the ants were gone. I’d made it.

 
     
     
     
     
     
    Desty
     
    I
couldn’t find the diner Mayor Dark had been pushing, but there was a bakery on
the square with a sign in the window that said it had NP-protected wireless
internet, so I went inside. It was more sophisticated than I was expecting for
a place as rural as Halo—more coffee shop chic than farm-town eatery—but being
the NP mecca of the US probably had something to do with that.
    There
were three people in line in front of me, so I had time to count the money I
had left after my idiotic recon of the Dark Mansion. Just under two bucks in
coins. Halo was an expensive place to look for somebody.
    “What
can I get you, hon?” the woman behind the counter asked. Tiffani, according to
her apron. She was middle-aged, with hair that dark shade of reddish-maroon
that no one actually has, and her irises were a weird, brassy color, but the
real attention-getter was her fangs. She caught me staring at them. “Yeah, I’m
a vampire. Now, what can I get you?”
    I
checked the price board.
    “Um,
a plain bread knot,” I said.
    Tiffani
sized me up and I wondered if I was starting to look like someone who lived out
of a backpack or if she was just offended that I didn’t want one of the more
intricate-looking pastries.
    “Something
to drink with that?” she asked.
    “Tap
water?”
    She
got me a cup of water and the cheapest, plainest pastry out of her glass-front
case.
    “Dollar-forty,”
she said.
    My
stomach growled.
    “If
I got some of the strawberry butter with that, how much would it be?” I asked.
    “One-eighty.”
    “Can
I, please?”
    Tiffani
dropped a little tub of it onto the plate with my bread knot. I handed her my
coins, then went and sat down by the big front window.
    At
first all I could do was focus on eating. Maybe I was just really hungry, but
that bread was incredible and the strawberry butter almost made me cry. It was
like a sweet-buttery-tangy orgasm on a warm, fluffy bed. I ate half of it
before I even took a breath. After that, I had to force myself to slow down and
enjoy the little piece of heaven the way it deserved to be enjoyed. If Tempie
could’ve tasted that… Strawberries were her favorite.
    Still
trying to put off eating the last couple bites, I got out my computer and
hooked up to the wireless. The bakery probably had some kind of spell that kept
the otherworldly NP-energies from messing with the signal. I wondered if cell
phones worked here, too, but no one in the bakery had theirs out and I couldn’t
check mine because I’d sold it back in Tucson. Having one had never done me any
good once I started chasing after Tempie anyway, considering I spent most of my
time in NP towns like Halo.
    I
had one email from Aunt Arie, sent a week ago.
     
    Everything’s fine here,
sweetheart, just getting a little worried. Haven’t heard out of you in a while
now. If you could, drop me a line sometime so I can tell your Mom everything’s
okay with you. She misses her girls.
     
    For
a while, I stared at the screen and tried to think of something to tell Aunt
Arie. “I know Mom doesn’t actually care where I am or what I’m doing because
she just wants to be left alone to die” didn’t seem appropriate. Not when Arie
was trying so hard to act like everything was normal. And I couldn’t say I’d be
there soon because who knew how long it would be before I even found Tempie,
let alone got her back home?
    All
I could do was send the standard “Everything’s fine with me, too!” It was lame,
but I hoped it would be one less thing for Aunt Arie to worry about.
    I
ate what was left of my bread knot, glanced around to make sure no one was
looking, then licked the last of the strawberry butter