she hear Toni’s name. Sometimes that meant the patient was keeping a tally in her head. A checklist of sorts. In this case, the kind of checklist made when a life was saved.
“Right, Toni,” January repeated. “You saved Toni. You didn’t think about the consequences, you didn’t consider you’d end up hurt. You acted. You made the hard choice.”
“And? You givin’ out shiny medals today? I don’t want a standing O. I did what I did. End of.”
January sat with that for a moment, allowing Nina’s facial expressions and body language to do the talking before she asked, “Do you regret making that choice, Nina?”
“Nope,” she said almost before the entire question was out of January’s mouth. “I’d do it again. The kid needed help. I helped. I’ll say it again. She’s a good kid who had an effed-up row to hoe. She didn’t deserve to get snuffed out before her life had even really begun.”
How could anyone not see that this woman was nothing but an asset to her clan? She was bloody fearless, and above all, selfless. But it didn’t matter because she wasn’t supposed to be shining a light on Nina’s assets. She was supposed to be shining a spotlight on her faults, as per that fuckhead Artem.
Stirring in her chair, January decided to delve into the heart of the problem Nina was having. Accepting her mortality now that her life was solely built around being a vampire.
“But that also means it’s taken your longevity away. You’re no longer immortal, Nina. Your husband, Charlie, Carl, all your friends— they are .”
There was a tense pause, where January was sure she was going to have to break out her magic wand to keep Nina from jamming her up against a wall and crushing her skull, but then she appeared to find her own wall. The one she’d constructed in her mind to keep her anguish in check. One she wasn’t going to let January climb over and most certainly wasn’t going to allow to be disturbed.
“I know what the fuck it means, Head Shrinker. I kinda don’t feel like you’re telling me anything new here. How is you telling me what I already know helpful?”
January smiled. “I’m not supposed to tell you anything new. You’re supposed to find something new on your own. You’re supposed to hear it out loud instead of keeping it locked up in your head. Sometimes, actions aren’t always louder than words. I’m just here to guide you to making peace with what your life will become now that you’re human again.”
Again, there was that flicker of grief, a mere second of anguish before she tightened her suit of armor. “Don’t you have a pamphlet that explains how or some shit? Like a twelve-step program? Mental exercises or something? We have one for OOPS. I could just give it a look-see and we could skip this sometimes-words-are-louder-than-actions gibberish.”
January flapped her hands and glanced at the clock. “I’m not much for telling people how to do what they need to do. I’m into helping people discover the best way to do what they need to do. So I have a little homework for you.”
Nina’s sigh was ragged and full of impatience. “Jesus. I said I’d come. I didn’t say anything about doing homework. My life is busy with my kid and my man.”
“Busier than your mental health?” January countered.
“Oh, eff off. Now you sound like Wanda.” But she smiled when she said it, and that was something. Nina respected Wanda. Looked to her for support she didn’t even know she sought.
January winked and chuckled. “Then I like Wanda. She’s levelheaded and obviously genius-smart. So here’s the homework. Take this packet. I have to give you this stuff because it’s part of every paranormal psychologist’s spiel. It’s all sorts of repetitive tips on how to deal with your anger. Counting, breathing, whatever. But I don’t care if you read it.”
“This is some kind of reverse bullshit, right? Like you tell me don’t do it and I’m supposed to want to