How Hard Can It Be? Read Online Free PDF Page B

you also like the word ‘avoidance’?”
    “Love it,” LeHump laughed. “It’s my favorite.”
     
    “Holy fuck.” Shoshanna grabbed my arm and yanked me to a halt as we rounded the corner to walk into my building. “Smokin’ hot butt dead ahead.”
    “Oh my God,” I gasped. She was right. It was a little creepy to have someone my grandparents’ age ogle the behind of a thirty-ish-year-old guy, but she was correct. It was the finest ass I’d ever seen.
    “He’s going into your building,” she hissed, hopping up and down with excitement.
    Mr. Sexy-ass used a key and went in. That meant he lived there. That amazing ass lives in my building! From the back he was Adonis. Unless he was sporting a unibrow and no teeth, my guess was he was hot from the front, too. “You know he’s probably gay,” I said pulling Shoshanna toward the front door just in case we could get another glimpse. No such luck.
    “I don’t think so. That ass looked very straight to me,” she said. I refrained from asking why she thought that. I was more afraid of her answer than the thought of the butt being gay.
    Shoshanna came up to my apartment to use the loo. It was the least I could offer, after she’d gone so far out of her way for me. I was grateful for the ride, but even more grateful to still be alive. In a mere matter of hours Shoshanna had grown on me . . . kind of like a fungus. A nondeadly, sweet-smelling, insane fungus. I liked her and actually looked forward to spending time with her in the next three weeks, despite the scary circumstances. There was no telling what would come out of her mouth. I enjoyed not being the only loose cannon in the room.
    “Oh my God!” Kristy gasped. “Professor Sue?”
    “Kristy!” LeHump shouted joyously, embracing my roommate in a bear hug. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in years. What are you doing now? I still remember that thesis you wrote on women’s roles throughout religious history. One of the best goddamned papers I ever read.”
    Kristy blushed furiously and preened under LeHump’s praise. What in the hell was going on here? LeHump was a porno writer, not a professor . . . Wait a minute. Was LeHump the famous “Professor Sue” I’d heard about ad nauseam from Kristy’s college days? No freakin’ way.
    “Shoshan . . . Sue, you know my roommate?” Damn, I’d almost blown her cover. I was very curious as to her real last name, but asking didn’t seem appropriate at the moment
    “Know her? Know her?” Shoshanna yelled. Dang, she was loud. “Not only do I know her, she was one of the best students I ever had!”
    Kristy looked positively orgasmic and I was flabbergasted. Had I moved into an alternate universe? The sum so did not equal the parts. I thought today couldn’t get any weirder.
    I thought wrong.
    “Rena,” my starstruck roommate gushed, “this is the Professor Sue. One of the most respected and sought-after professors of women’s studies in the country. Her work has been published worldwide.”
    I glanced at Shoshanna/Sue. The irony was almost too much to bear. She winked and put her finger to her lips. I got it . . . Clearly Kristy was not referring to the butt-plug trilogy or the contortionist sex-slave series LeHump had regaled me with when she wasn’t trying to run us off the road during our thirty-minute ride from hell.
    “I didn’t realize you had a day job.” I grinned at LeHump, shaking my head and removing my snow boots. She smirked and gave me a thumbs-up. She was crazy.
    “Where’s the john? I’m about to pee in my pants!”
    “Down the hall and to the left,” I interjected quickly. LeHump had no manners or social graces and while I liked her, I wouldn’t put it past her to relieve herself on my kitchen floor. I am so not cleaning that up. I yanked her coat off and shoved her down the hall.
    Kristy ran around the kitchen like a chicken with its head cut off, pulling open cabinets and sniffing things she pulled from the