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out-of-focus. I’ve seen this tape so many times, I have the timecode memorized. 00.10.14 starts with an over-exposed shot of the park. For a couple seconds it looks like all the people are lit up by a nuclear explosion, playing games in atomic fallout. The frame shakes while the exposure changes. The grass and sky return to their natural hue; people look safe from skin-burning radiation. Children offscreen laugh and shout; some of them scream.
    At 00.10.34, all the settings on the camera are correct and the picture looks crisp. The frame moves between children playing on top of the monkey bars and climbing up the tube slide. Other children get thrown off a merry-go-round because a teenager is spinning it too hard. More teenagers watch, a boy and a girl. They switch off between laughing and making out. The wind blows the empty swings occupied by ghost children.
    At 00.12.44 the frame jostles as it runs to a thick patch of bushes at the edge of the park. 00.13.16 and the picture is very close to the ground; tall weeds and grass make up the bottom third of the frame. In the shelter of this hiding place, heavy breathing makes up the entire soundtrack. There is some jerkiness as the picture rights its angle and swivels around, looking for the target. It finally lands on two blobs walking in the distance. It zooms in on its focus.
    00.13.49 shows my brother and Ally walking through the park, holding hands. It’s hard to tell what they are saying, but Ally’s talking fast and gesticulating wildly with her free hand. Brian looks bored. They stop and pet a dog. The breathing soundtrack remains heavy.
    00.15.35 and they sit on the grass. Brian sits first and Ally falls on top of him, apparently causing him more pain than the joke is worth. She feels bad and rubs his back. He rubs his side and squints with pain, but then he looks at her and laughs. Not hurt after all. She pretends to be mad and pushes him. They’re both laughing now. Another dog approaches them with a Frisbee, which Brian takes and throws in the direction of the camera. The screen ducks to avoid detection. Ally and Brian look at each other, then look away and don’t say anything. The breathing soundtrack becomes harder, faster.
    Ally and Brian look back at each other, and this time my brother says something, and Ally nods. He takes her lower jaw in his hand and leans in close, lingering on the kiss for, according to the time code, four seconds. He stops, looks around, and then moves in for another.
    00.16.35 and they’re making out hardcore. The camera zooms in as far as it can reach. It looks as if they’re sucking air out of each other, and sometimes they open their mouths enough to see their tongues. The camera never wavers. He’s got his hand running through her hair and she’s rubbing up and down his arm, sometimes on his leg or waist. Brian tries to move lower, first on her shoulder and then her arm. She brings his hand back up to cradle her face. The breathing on the soundtrack turns to whimpering.
    At 00.20.28 the battery runs out, and the image goes black.

Dinner and a Movie
     
     
    My mom calls out for dinner. I shut the LCD monitor to the camera, ashamed. I put the camera down on the carpet, consider taking the tape out, think better of it, but wash my hands anyway. I turn off the lights in my room, arm wrapped around the doorframe to avoid looking into the darkness. I shut the door behind me as I head upstairs to the dining room.
    No burnt food this time, but it’s still a disappointment. I frown when Mom shoves a plate of stir-fry in my hands. Cooking used to be her passion. She used to impress me and Brian with Eggplant Parmesan, sautéed tilapia, or cranberry-marinated pork chops before she only had one son to impress. Now we have pasta, tacos, meatloaf and stir-fry on a rotating basis. She spends less time in the kitchen, and we spend more time eating in front of the television. My parents eat on the couch, and I eat on the floor.
    We watch