Hopes and Dreams Read Online Free PDF Page A

fill the silence with something, anything. Summer reaches out and touches my hand.
    ‘It’s OK, y’know,’ she tells me. ‘I’m not mad at you, Jodie. I’m glad you’re at the academy. I wish I could have gone, but I couldn’t, and knowing you’re there is the next best thing. Tell me all about it … everything! Is Sylvie Rochelle very strict? How was the Christmas production? Do you love it, Jodie? Tell me everything … and what’s all this about boys?’
    I laugh, and the tension lifts as I explain all about the dance classes: the classical ballet, the character classes, the contemporary dance classes, which I am starting to love more and more. I tell her about dancing my short solo in
The Nutcracker
, about Naomi and Tasha and Sparks and how Grace drives me nuts sometimes with her fussing and her fretting and the shelf full of soft toys she has above her bed.
    ‘So … Sparks is just a friend?’ Summer checks.
    ‘Definitely,’ I insist. ‘He’s funny and outrageous and hugely talented. He’ll be famous one day, I’m sure of it …’
    ‘No romance, then?’
    ‘Well … there is Sebastien,’ I confess. ‘The French boy I told you about, Sylvie Rochelle’s godson. He’s really good-looking and he has the coolest accent I have ever heard in my life, and … well, I like him. We’re sort of going out …’
    I flick open my phone and find a few Instagram pictures of Sebastien looking cool and French and moody.
    ‘Wow,’ Summer says. ‘He’s gorgeous!’
    ‘He really is,’ I say. ‘I don’t know what he sees in me at all!’
    Summer rolls her eyes. ‘Silly,’ she pronounces. ‘He sees a sweet, clever, kind girl who doesn’t have a clue how beautiful she is, or how talented. I’m so happy for you. Don’t you see, Jodie? You were meant to go to Rochelle Academy so you’d meet Sebastien; and I was meant to stay here, so I could be with Alfie …’
    ‘Alfie Anderson?’ I check. ‘You’re still together?’
    ‘Sure we are,’ she says. ‘He keeps me sane. Well, sane-ish. I am glad for you, Jodie, honestly; you deserve to meet a nice boy, and you deserve to be at Rochelle Academy.’
    I pick at my reindeer-face cupcake, unable to meet her eye.
    ‘Hey,’ she says. ‘You’re not still feeling guilty, are you? Because I’m happy for you, I truly am …’
    I should just smile and nod and pretend it’s all OK, but the truth seeps out in spite of my good intentions. ‘You don’t understand,’ I whisper. ‘It’s hard, really hard. You don’t know what it’s like to be second best the whole time, to know you’re not anybody’s first choice …’
    ‘No, no, you mustn’t think that way!’ Summer argues. ‘It’s fate, a chance to grab your dream, Jodie. Give it all you’ve got!’
    I shake my head. ‘Madame Rochelle thinks I am holding back,’ I tell her. ‘Keeping something back from my dancing. Sebastien thinks so too, and maybe I am, I don’t know. I’m scared, Summer. What if I do put everything I have into this and it’s still not enough?’
    Summer shrugs. ‘What if it IS enough? What are you actually scared of, Jodie? Failing? Or … well, maybe the opposite?’
    I frown. ‘What do you mean?’
    She sips her diet Coke. ‘It’s just that … well, ever since I’ve known you, you’ve held back a little. You always let me take the lead, have the limelight, even if it meant stepping back a little yourself. I used to wonder if you just quite liked being on the sidelines. You’ve always been so sensible, so relaxed about it all, like you didn’t really mind one way or another whether you got a leading role or a place at Rochelle Academy. I didn’t really question it, but … well, it was self-defence, wasn’t it? If you didn’t put yourself on the line, you couldn’t feel too bad if things didn’t work out.’
    ‘Maybe,’ I say. ‘I’m just the cautious type, right?’
    ‘Or maybe you just take the easy way out,’ Summer says, and I flinch at her