Hooking Up : Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus

Hooking Up : Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus Read Online Free PDF Page B

Book: Hooking Up : Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus Read Online Free PDF
Author: Kathleen A. Bogle
was not the only thing that changed with the dating era; peers became increasingly important as well. With calling, the family had had the greatest influence over the choice of a gentleman caller.
    Dating, on the other hand, moved into the public sphere, at least partially away from the watchful eyes of parents. This was particularly the case on the college campus, where parents were even farther removed from the process. In the absence of parents, peers began to exert greater influence over one’s choice of a dating partner. Furthermore, since dating had largely become somewhat of a popularity contest, it became important to follow the dominant script of the times (e.g., going steady) in order to be part of the “in” crowd.

    F RO M DAT I N G TO H O O K I N G U P
    19
    As intimate relationships moved away from parental supervision, increasing sexual intimacy entered the equation. During the dating era, particularly when couples went steady, relationships lasted long enough for the couple to become increasingly close. With this closeness came increased opportunity for sex. However, it was not only steadies who engaged in sexual behavior; there had been sexual interaction among those in the rating and dating era also.38 Although no nationally representative samples that documented the sexual behavior of American youth were available, smaller-scale studies and an onslaught of publications (both scholarly and mainstream media) dealt with sexual behavior. These sources indicate that “necking” and “petting” were the norm among youth.39 Precise definitions of these practices do not exist, but necking was generally believed to include “stimulation” from the
    “neck up” with the “main areas of sexual stimulation remaining covered by clothing.”40 With necking, the neck, lips, and ears are “utilized extensively as sexual objects.”41 Petting involved greater sexual intimacy and included “literally every caress known to married couples but does not include complete sexual intercourse.”42
    Both necking and petting likely occurred even before the dating system took hold in the 1920s.43 Evidence of this can be found in the love letters of courtship partners in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries.44 However, the importance of these sexual acts lies not so much in the acts themselves, but in their increasing visibility and acceptance among an emerging youth culture.45 As the twentieth century progressed, necking and petting on dates, especially with steadies, became a hallmark of the youth dating experience. Thus, the dating script, particularly during the 1940s and 1950s, dictated a greater degree of sexual intimacy than the calling era had allowed.
    Regarding premarital sexual intercourse, evidence suggests this happened during the dating era, but it was not the norm.46 In a particularly ingenious quantitative study, conducted in 1984, sociologist Martin Whyte surveyed women in the greater Detroit metropolitan area about their dating, mating, and marriage experiences. The study focused on women between the ages of 18 and 75 who indicated that they were currently or had previously been married. The women were placed into three major categories: prewar brides, marrying in the years 1925–1944; baby boom brides, marrying in 1945–1964; and those who first wed during the years 1965–1984. These data give us the clearest sense of how much change has taken place since dating began. Despite 20
    F RO M DAT I N G TO H O O K I N G U P
    some continuity across time periods, Whyte documented what he refers to as an “intimacy revolution” among those in the most recent cohort.47
    “Among the prewar brides, only 24% had already lost their virginity (prior to marriage), according to our rough estimate. For the baby boom era brides this figure increases to 51% and in the post-1965 cases to 72%.”48 Whyte favors the term “intimacy revolution” to “sexual revolution” because, while the majority of women in the
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