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flawless lawns of the homes surrounding Heritage. The harsh realism that their community service project differed vastly from hers became highly evident. The other students were concerned with shootings, drug use, and lack of jobs. She felt downright spoiled that she did not have to contend with flying bullets or drugged-out parents. Although her parents were far from relaxed, she could not remember a time when a substance influenced them caring for her. Her mother would enjoy a glass of wine now and then, but her father stayed away from the stuff. He wanted nothing that would dull his senses, although Jessica did remember a time at Aunt Lodi’s big birthday bash.
    Aunt Lodi loved to celebrate, and even the smallest occasion would make her want to bake a cake. One year she decided to throw herself a birthday bash and insisted that they all come to Cedar Creek for the weekend. Jessica was ecstatic at an additional chance to see Aunt Lodi. Even though Jessica usually saw her three times a year, she wanted more; Aunt Lodi was contagious, making even the most guarded ease themselves into the pool of calm water she offered. Jessica noticed that in the company of his sister, her father’s appearance changed. The brow that looked as if it had been frozen with creases loosened, and the harsh lines that framed his green eyes and even the scar below his left eye faded, as if he had used one of her mother’s miracle beauty products. His body relaxed, allowing Aunt Lodi to put her arm around it and pull him from person to person. Jessica even heard him laugh out loud. She remembered walking over and looking up at his mass of muscle. He had a beer in hand. As he looked down at her tiny frame with a smile that made his face look inviting, he put his arm around her neck and laughingly introduced her to the other men. Jessica wanted to know more about these men. What were they doing that would make him change into good-time Jim? As she got older, she realized that while the men may have been funny, the beer is what made him human. Once she made that connection, she started asking her mother to buy some beer for Dad because he enjoyed it so much at Aunt Lodi’s bash. Her mother met her request with a quick response: “No.”
     

     
    During Biology, a girl at their table tried to convince Jessica to give her the answers to their homework. She had received an F on an earlier assignment and was afraid that her parents would ground her if she did not produce an A. Jessica’s pulse quickened, and her voice quivered because she really wanted to fit in, but not at the expense of cheating. So she said no.
    “Come on, I need some help,” the girl whispered again.
    Jessica noticed that Paul was studying the situation, but she shook her head and went back to working on the Biology assignment. Then she heard the girl whisper, “Bitch.”
    “You’re the bitch,” Paul said. “Do your own work.”
    “Peterson, did you swear in my classroom?” Mr. Wilberg announced loudly.
    Paul said yes, and Mr. Wilberg kicked him out. Jessica felt horrible and was about to say she was sorry when Paul winked at her as he collected his things and then walked toward the door. Before stepping into the hallway, he looked back toward Jessica and gave her a quick grin.
    “Is that your boyfriend?” another girl at their table asked. Jessica quietly said no, but her heart thumped a little harder.
     

     
    Jessica noticed she was getting more attention from boys. It took her a few weeks, but she eventually figured out that two boys in homeroom, Mike and Jeff, appeared to like her but really wanted to use her. She was, after all, the deliverer. They would try to move closer to her seat in homeroom, be extra nice whenever they saw her in the hallway, and invite her to parties. Jessica took notice when Mrs. Daley would narrow her eyes. The look on Mrs. Daley’s face said it all: they were trying to play her for a fool. Jessica, having been raised by a Green Beret,