Home for the Holidays Read Online Free PDF Page A

becoming Beth and leaving Lizzie behind forever.
    “Yes, Ma’am, you did,” Jim said, closing his eyes like he was remembering.
    And he probably was. 
    The whole damn town had seen it, after all. 
    The Spring she’d finished school.  Working with Mark on the float for the Halloween parade.  She’d had that bloody mermaid costume on and Mark had begged her: just one kiss. 
    Mark, the most serious of all the Canning boys. 
    The serious, careful second child.  The one she should have loved. He was so damned sweet.
    And she’d said yes. Just one kiss. As they’d waited under the sheet for the great unveiling.
    But the timing was all wrong, and as they yanked the cover off for the great reveal, the hook had caught on her costume and pulled it away.  And instead of what she was, a nice girl trying out a kiss with the boy she should have loved, she became Lizzie Gibson, the girl who stood naked in front of the whole town and kissed another Canning boy.
    No-one blamed her, any woman in Glory between eight and eighty would have kissed beautiful, sweet Mark Canning.  No-one blamed her, but everyone saw her.
    And no-one, not even her parents, would ever have believed it was anything other than what they saw.
    “And then that bloody Christmas  wedding,” she hiccupped, feeling suddenly a long, long way from sober. “And the thought was so awful, he ran away.  No wonder I can’t stand Christmas.”
    Jim picked up both Beth’s hands, and turned her to him carefully.  “Beth,” he said, and she was surprised to hear him, finally, get it right.  “Look at me.”
    She did, even though the combined effect of the whiskey and his nearness made her want to lean in to him, maybe even crawl over and snuggle into his lap.
    Jim’s eyes seemed riveted to her mouth.  Then he closed them briefly, shaking his head like he was trying to clear it.   “It wasn’t like that.  Mark leaving, I mean.  You gotta know.  It wasn’t you.”
    “Sure felt like me.” And it had.  The humiliation.  As if the whole thing hadn’t been humiliating enough. “You know,” Beth ploughed on.  “To this day, I still wonder.  Why did he want me to kiss him so badly? If I was so awful he ran away right after he married me? Why the hell did he want to kiss me?”
    “Because you were nice,” Jim said softly, touching her cheek with one long finger.  “And he was trying to find out.”
    “Find out what?”  Beth studied Jim’s face and saw the answer there. “Oh,” Suddenly it all made sense. Why sweet, sensible Mark Canning had wanted to kiss her so badly, and then ran out on her as soon as they got hitched.  “Poor thing.”
    “Yes,” Jim said.  “Poor Mark.  And now he feels like he can’t come back here.  Even though he could.”  He clenched his fists.  “I would always make sure it was okay for him.”
    “No-one ever believed us,” Beth said.  “That we weren’t, y’know...in that float.”
    “I did,” Jim said, picking up one of her hands and putting up to his chest.  “Cross my heart, I always did.”
    She felt the pound-pound of his heart through his white t-shirt, and her hand itched to feel the warmth of his skin under it.  “Why?”
    “Because I always knew Mark was different,” he said.  “And...”
    He studied his hands, opening and closing them. 
    “And...?” 
    “And because I wanted to,” he said.  “I wanted to believe it had all been the accident you said. ”
    “Why?”  Beth felt like some kind of robot, on repeat.
    Jim reached up and stroked the side of Beth’s face. Time seemed to stretch painfully as she held his eyes while he stroked the sensitive skin there. “Because I could never stand the idea of you wanting anyone else,” he said.  “Not even one of my brothers.”  He paused, bringing his hand down.  She watched it curl into a fist in his lap. “Especially one of my brothers.”
    “Really?”  Was this really possible?  Could he really mean that how