Hollywood Punch Read Online Free PDF Page A

Vanessa says. “They probably just want Ava to look more like a real woman. Not the stick figure that she is.”
    Since Vanessa is a bit of a stick figure herself, this is not exactly a compelling argument from her. Now, it’s true: Vanessa stays thin because she’s five foot eight and runs six miles a day, but still, it’s annoying.
    But Vanessa’s right. It’s not actually all about me, since Trip doesn’t know the whole story involved with my coming to his wedding. He thinks it’s just your normal girl-goes-to-her-ex-boyfriend’s-wedding kind of situation. Thankfully, he doesn’t know about the part where Douglas broke up with me mere minutes before the wedding, forcing me to drag my friend Jack in his place. Since Douglas was a Scot, I made Jack dress in a kilt and speak with a faux Scottish accent for the whole evening. I even wore a fake engagement ring to really sell it.
    â€œThanks,” I say to Vanessa and we both look at the television. I take a big swig of my margarita. Maybe we should have cut to the chase and just had shots of tequila before watching this?
    â€œSo,” Lara says, putting on a serious expression, “tell us more about the film.”
    â€œWell,” Ava says. “It’s the story of a woman who goes to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding.”
    â€œWow,” Lara says, “that sure sounds like quite a story!”
    â€œIt is, Lara,” Ava says, leaning in to Lara as if they’re sorority sisters or something. “It is. And lots of single women everywhere can relate to it.”
    â€œI don’t know about that,” Lara says with a laugh. “You couldn’t pay me enough to go to an ex’s wedding.”
    â€œIt’s going to be a funny movie,” Ava says. “I can personally guarantee lots of laughs. And maybe even a tear or two.”
    â€œThey’re going to be lining up in droves to see this movie!” Lara says.
    And she’s probably right. Why couldn’t they be making a small art house film about my life that no one would ever see? Why must it be the movie that’s slated to be the biggest blockbuster of the summer? Why oh why must my life be so darned interesting that a major motion picture studio has greenlit a production about it?
    â€œIs it a concern,” Lara says, putting a grave expression onto her face, “that people won’t think that the story is believable? I mean, what woman in her right mind would actually go to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding?”
    â€œThat’s the great thing, Lara,” Ava says, eyes sparkling, clearly ready for this question to have been asked. “It really did happen! To my husband’s ex-girlfriend.”
    â€œYou mean to tell me that your husband’s ex-girlfriend actually came to your wedding?” Lara says and gives the camera a look of shock. Oh please. As if this whole interview wasn’t pre-rehearsed. Who does she think she’s kidding?
    â€œYes!” Ava says. “She’s actually an attorney right here in Manhattan. And she’s very nice.”
    â€œNice or not, I can’t believe you let one of your husband’s exes come to your wedding!” Lara says, still doing the shocked expression thing. I mean, doesn’t Lara have any other expressions in her arsenal? What does she do when she interviews someone who actually reveals shocking things? I guess this is why they pre-record all of their shows.
    Ava nods in response. Yes, I am so wonderful that I allowed my husband’s ex to come to our wedding. I also do all sorts of other types of charity work.
    â€œThey’re making me sound like a stalker,” I say to Vanessa and she shhhes me. I finish my margarita and lean over to the pitcher to re-fill my glass.
    â€œBut,” Lara quickly says, “it’s not as if a woman like you has to worry about any sort of competition. What man would ever choose another woman