Holding On Read Online Free PDF Page B

been bottling up the past three weeks came crashing down, and I sobbed like a child.
     

     
    The drive took less time than I thought it would, and we arrived in Tucson four days later. I was exhausted by the time we got there, and after unpacking the U-Haul, I felt every ounce of adrenaline drain from my body. I grabbed a blanket and snuggled up on my bare mattress, but the sleep I so desperately wanted and needed seemed to elude me. I couldn’t turn my brain off. The only thing I could think about was Brad.
    I could still feel his kiss. I could still smell his cologne mixed with his soap and all that made him smell so amazing. I could still picture the defeated look in his eyes when I woke up to find him sitting at the end of the couch. I couldn’t get him out of my head. Every time I closed my eyes, he was there—I could see him clear as day. Every time I opened my eyes, I could smell him and feel his touch. Every time I tried to block it out, all I could feel was the pain. The pain was more real than anything.
    Remembering that I still had yet to open his gift, I got up and began to rummage through my purse. The instruction on the top of the box told me to wait until I was here to open it. I didn’t understand why at first, but Brad assured me that there was a very good reason and that once I opened his gift, I would see for myself.
    We had talked a few times during the trip. It was mostly him calling to make sure that I was still alive since he never did trust me behind the wheel. He kept me company until I was sure my phone battery would die and we would end our call. Our conversations were never about anything important and most definitely never about our relationship or anything that had happened in the last few weeks. I don’t think I would ever be able to talk to him about my feelings. Nothing was going to change the situation we put ourselves in. Nothing was going to bring me back home.
    I found the package and went back to my bed to open it. The card was taped to the top of the box still with the instructions printed on the envelope. I brushed my finger over his handwriting and then carefully removed the envelope from the package. As I opened it, I realized that there was not a card inside but a photo of the two of us. It had been taken last spring after one of my tennis matches. I was glistening from head to toe with sweat and, of course, Brad looked deliciously well put together. I flipped it over to find a little message on the back.
     
     
    This may not be the most recent picture of us but it is my favorite. This is the day that I realized I was in love with you. My best friend, my entire world. You will always be here with me in my heart. I know that my gift is a little much but when I saw it I knew you would love it and I hope that it reminds you of our special connection every time you look at it.
    Love always, Brad
     
    Holy crap! I was too shocked to cry and was shaking so hard that I couldn’t even grip the photo anymore. It floated to the bed and landed face up. As I stared at the handsome man standing next to me, the tears finally began to fall. I could see the love in his eyes. How had I missed that? Why did he have to wait until I was so far away to tell me? As I glanced over at myself in the photo, I saw something in myself that scared the crap out of me. Love. Whether I realized it at the time or not, I was in love with him back then. I knew I was fighting some feelings for him over the past few year or so, but I never really thought that I was in love with him. That’s just wasn’t the type of relationship that we had. Not to mention, he had just started dating Claire.
    I pulled myself together, trying to imagine what’s under the wrapping paper. I slowly pulled it back and realized that it’s a black velvet box. Double crap! He bought me jewelry. Now I realized why he made me wait. I would have never let him spend money on jewelry for me. The only jewelry I wore was a watch, and that