Hold Me Like a Breath Read Online Free PDF Page A

when you see those in life, you take them.”
    This
felt like a moment of opportunity. And not to prove that I wasn’t an idiot by listing all the facts I knew—about how the Families provided illegal transplants for the many, many peoplerejected from or buried at the bottom of the government lists. How more than two-thirds of those who made it through all the protocols to qualify for a spot on the official transplant list died before receiving an organ. Or to recite the unofficial Family motto:
Landlows help people who can’t afford to wait, but
can
afford to pay
.
    â€œFine, tell me what I don’t know,” I said. “Tell me what’s going on, why you and Father are fighting, and what’s keeping you so busy. Tell me
everything
.”
    Garrett muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “Don’t do this,” but since my brother ignored him, I did too.
    Carter’s eyes met mine in the rearview mirror. “None of this leaves the car, Pen. I’m trusting you.”
    â€œI understand.” I sat a little straighter. “And I promise.”
    â€œWait,” said Garrett. “Before we drag her into this, let’s just hear what she wanted to ask us. There
was
something you wanted, right, Penny?”
    I thought about my red folder. Underneath the blood count charts were stacks of glossy brochures, a pile of completed applications. Which did I want more: a future with school, a normal life, friends, or one that included the Family Business?
    â€œPen?” prompted Carter. “Is everything okay?”
    â€œEverything’s really good actually.” I took a deep breath—maybe the two futures weren’t incompatible. Maybe I could have both. “My platelet counts have been decent since mid-May. I’ve gone more than seven weeks without needing an immunoglobulin infusion. That’s my longest in …
years
. I think I’m heading into another remission.”
    â€œSerious, Pen? That’s amazing!” Carter slapped his fist against the horn and matched its blaring noise with his own
whoop!
    â€œWow.” Garrett’s celebration wasn’t hand-waving and yelling. He’d gone still, except for a slight nod of his head and cautious grin. “What does Dr. Castillo say? Your parents?”
    â€œDr. Castillo hasn’t said anything yet, not beyond, ‘your numbers still look good.’ But last week’s count was around eighty-five K—and that’s without any treatment for forever! While that’s not impressive for you guys with your several
hundred
thousand platelets, it’s significant for me. And if this is another remission, I want to take advantage of it.”
    When I was twelve I’d had ten months of steady, healthy, treatment-free counts. It had been a time of tentative parental hugs, nibbles at normalcy, and minutely planned trips off-estate.
    It was during one of these that everything came crashing down. During a fitting for my first bra, the clerk said, “You sure do bruise easily … and quickly.” She’d pointed to the purple stripe her measuring tape had created around my torso. I’d responded by bleeding from my nose and gums. Mother had screamed and screamed. Our driver, Dylan, had broken every traffic law rushing me back to the clinic, which I didn’t leave for a full week.
    One CBC later—platelet count four thousand—and I’d been back in lockdown.
    â€œTake advantage of it
how
?” asked Garrett.
    I gulped. This was my most cherished daydream, and I was handing it over for scrutiny. “I want to go to school in the fall.”
    â€œYou hate Nolan that much?” joked Carter. “Though, after dealing with him in Business meetings this summer, I get it.”
    I gritted my teeth at the mention of Nolan. “Isn’t he the most frustrating man on the planet? But no. It wouldn’t matter who my tutor was. It’ll be