Hiss Me Deadly Read Online Free PDF

crowds, no big money for our fund-raiser. Get it?"
    "Got it."
    "Good," he said. "Catch the thief before the fair."
    I tilted my hat back. "If I do, what's in it for me?"
    "I look the other way the next three times you get in trouble."
    "And if I don't catch him?" I asked.
    Quick as a cop on a doughnut, Mr. Zero's paw shot out. His razor claws shredded my pink slip.
    "Do I make myself clear?" he growled.
    "As a poltergeist's X-ray."
    "Then I suggest you hop to it."
    I may not be a bunny, but I know a good idea when I hear it. Out the door I hopped.

    Suddenly, our case had mushroomed from something personal to something that affected the whole school. The pressure was on. Come lunchtime, I tore through my brown-bag lunch like a shark through a goldfish picnic.
    Natalie watched me. "Are we in a race?" she said, pecking at her wormy apple crisp.
    "A race against time," I said. "Principal Zero has hired us."
    She brightened. "How about that?"
    "Yeah, and if we don't catch the thief by tomorrow afternoon, it's curtains for this gecko."
    "Curtains? Good. You really need to redecorate your office."
    "Mr. Zero will redecorate
me,
" I said. "Scarf down that mess, and let's skedaddle."
    Natalie gave a few more pecks at her lunch, and then tossed the rest. I swear she eats like a bird.
    "Let's review our suspects," I said as we hit the bricks.
    "Right," she said. "There's Johnny Ringo..."
    "Who swears he was in class but always lies. Then, there's Gustav Mauler..."
    Natalie nodded. "Who roams the halls at recess. Anyone else?"
    I paused at the edge of the playground. "What about those snake protesters?"
    "What about them?"
    "Snakes are sneaky. They could be stealing things."
    Natalie bristled. "That's prejudice! There are good snakes and bad snakes, just like with any animal—even geckos."
    I screwed up my face. "I still don't trust them."
    "How could they be behind it?" demanded Natalie. "That rattler only made his threat this morning—
after
all the thefts happened."
    "Ah," I said. "So, scratch the snakes."
    "I'd rather not," she said.
    I smirked. "Now who's prejudiced?"
    Natalie ignored me. "Which suspect shall we start with?"
    "Well..." I thought about using the
eenie-meenie-miney-moe
technique, but it didn't seem very detective-y. Just then, a muskrat in a hall monitor's black beret marched down the corridor behind us.
    I smiled. "Let's see if we can find a witness first," I said.
    Natalie followed my gaze. "A hall monitor?"
    "You read my mind, birdie."
    The muskrat hadn't seen anything suspicious, but he told us to check with Luz Lipps. I thanked him for his time. He asked me for a tip. I told him not to bet on horses. He said not that kind of tip.
    We spotted Luz in the library corridor. As we approached, she was pulling back from a weasel's embrace.
Yuck.
If this dame was half as good a monitor as she was a flirt, Emerson Hicky would have the calmest halls in the county.
    At the sight of us, the squirrel gave a guilty start.
She released the weasel. "And don't, uh, run in the halls again," she said to him. "If you know what's good for you."
    He shot her a puzzled look and shuffled off.
    "Remind me never to run in the halls," I said. "Luz, I'm Chet; this is my partner, Natalie. We met before."
    "Big whoop," she said around a huge chaw in her cheek. "What do you want?"
    We joined the squirrel. "We're investigating a case," said Natalie.
    "A case of what? Soda pop?" Luz smirked.
    "Theft," I said, leaning close. "Hadn't you heard?"
    The squirrel jumped, nearly choking on her gum. "Theft?"
    "Someone's been stealing watches and other stuff from classrooms at recess," said Natalie.
    "And yesterday, they boosted a couple of computers," I said. "Know anything about it?"
    Luz glanced down the hall and back at us. "Why should I?" she demanded. "Uh, I mean, why would I know anything about that?"
    I stuffed my hands into my pockets. "You
are
a hall monitor. Don't you monitor the halls?"
    "Maybe you noticed someone shady," Natalie