Her Rebel Heart Read Online Free PDF Page B

did.
    He stroked her fingers, praying for reconciliation. After what had happened on Pratt Street every fiber, every nerve in Sam'€™s body pleaded for him to fight. It was not cowardice that kept him from doing so. It was the belief that God had chosen another path for him. I cannot condone slavery. If only Julia could realize that.
    Sam had tried to explain it to her. When Edward had thumped up the staircase, muddy boots, muskets and all, Julia had turned her eyes to him. He saw the doubt in them, the fear. He knew Edward'€™s words carried great weight.
    "€œJulia,"€ he said as he moved to embrace her, "€œYou know I would give my life for you but this isn'€™t the way'€”"€
    "€œGo with him, Samuel. Please."€
    Her request had shocked him. "€œDo you really want me to leave? Do you really know what war is?"€
    "€œNo, of course not! I don'€™t want you to go! I don'€™t want any of you to go! I don'€™t want any of this to be happening!"€
    "€œThen think about what you are saying. We must stay together! We must convince Edward not to go south."€
    "€œHe won'€™t listen! He would rather die than dishonor his state! Samuel, please! Go with him. Only you can take care of him."€
    "€œJulia, I can'€™t willingly support the position the South is taking. I can'€™t condone slavery."€
    Pure confusion filled her eyes. "€œBut we don'€™t even own slaves!"€
    "€œI can'€™t support a government which allows others to do so."€
    As soon as the words were out of his mouth he realized how ridiculous they sounded. He had sealed his fate.
    "€œYou have supported one thus far!"€ she said, tears hardening into anger. "€œHow many Maryland plantations on the eastern shore rely on slaves? You are using that as an excuse! I have never known you to march with the abolitionists! Edward is right! You are a coward!"€
    She ripped the engagement ring from her finger. "€œI will not marry you!"€
    Sitting beside her now, he continued to hold her hand as Reverend Perry prayed. Sam knew Julia had begged him to join Edward not because she wished for war but because she feared for her brother'€™s safety'€”and for their own. He had no quarrel with her brother. He would give anything to see their relationship restored, their family reunited.
    Lord, I believe that slavery is wrong but my own state supports it! And what of Dr. Carter and his abolitionist friends? What if they are radicals? What if they advocate the methods of John Brown?
    The newspapers had been full of stories just a few months ago concerning the raid on Harper'€™s Ferry. The town was held hostage. People were killed.
    I don'€™t know which position is right or which side to be on. All I know is that I love her. Show me Your will'€¦
    If Reverend Perry had meant for his prayer to be a comfort, it had just the opposite effect. When the congregation was dismissed many of the women were in tears and the men were grumbling.
    Julia was pale, pensive, lost in her own private world. Sam led her from the pew, her arm through his. The air inside the church was stifling and he worried that she might faint. He steered her to the door and down thefront steps. A slight breeze wafted across the churchyard. Julia seemed glad for it. Her face pinkened.
    The fact that she was allowing him to lead her was a good sign. Perhaps today we can iron out our differences. We can commit to navigating the unknown together.
    Once outside, parishioners began conversing. Reverend Perry'€™s prayer was the subject of much of the discussion. Sam caught snatches of it as he walked Julia to the carriage.
    "€œThat man is riding the fence! Waiting to see which side prevails!"€
    "€œPraying for Lincoln! He should be praying for the souls of those on Federal Hill!"€
    Sam ignored their words. He waited as Dr. Stanton helped his wife inside the carriage. He studied Julia. She was still silent but her color was definitely improving with the fresh air.