Heartless (The Heartless Series) Read Online Free PDF Page B

because I figure our relationship will inevitably end. And yeah, he's been a little distant this week, but school has started and I'm sure he has a lot of stress on him. He's never been mean. I mean, a few random remarks here and there, but… I don't know.
    I don't know how to explain it.
    Maybe I'm projecting.
    Maybe there's nothing wrong with Sam.
    Maybe it's all with me.
    Maybe I'm the problem.
    The crazy one.
    Maybe Sam is a saint for putting up with me at all.
    Maybe the little things he says, the little digs, are true. Maybe…
    A few of the pills get stuck in my throat on the way down. My body wants me to cough and cough hard. They are stuck, and they need out. But I can't. There's no way. If I cough, he'll wake up for sure, and I absolutely can't have that.
    So, while nearly dying, I hit my chest hard enough to make the rainbow of pills fly back up my gullet and out into the sink. Four of those pretty bastards are lying in a row. Four. Only one went down. I hear movement in the living room. There's no way I can chance this anymore. I sweep up the pills, hold them in my hand, turn off the light, back against the wall, and hold my breath. Maybe, just maybe, if I'm incredibly lucky, I can hide here in the shadows. He'll never find me, unless he goes to the fridge for a drink.
    Holy. Cow.
    The couch cushions protest. That means either he's rolling over or getting up. I hope he's just rolling over. I shut my eyes and pray over and over for him to just stay asleep. Just stay asleep. Just tonight. I'll talk to him in the morning. I'll be a good girlfriend. But I just have too much going on tonight.
    I wait for a few more minutes and don't hear anything. Not a creak. Not anything. I let out a very shaky breath and tiptoe out of the kitchen. I toss the pills in the trashcan next to the door, because they are useless to me now. Another prayer. Please let the ONE PILL I did get to take do me some good. I think it's my nightmare-killing pill. I think. I hope. Yeah, anxiety is horrible, and I hate it. Yeah, depression kicks my butt. But at least those two things don't eat my liver every night. My nightmares do and if I can do anything to keep Hart Blackwell away, well then I'm all for it.
    I make it to the stairs before he speaks to me. Sam. "Why are you sneaking around? It's almost as if you don't want to wake me up or something."
    Damn it. Damn it. Damn it!
    I plaster a smile on my face before I turn. My heart beats incredibly fast in my chest, so fast it starts to make me feel dizzy. I hold on to the rail with one hand and lean my body on the cold metal to keep upright. I'm not scared of Sam. He'd never hit me or anything like that. I'm scared of arguing with him. I'm scared of him being disappointed with me. I'm terrified of letting him down.
    I understand how stupid that sounds.
    "You looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake you up."
    The moonlight filters through the window and lights up his face just enough so I can see his expression. Not the most pleasant of expressions. His lips are barely a line. His jaw is tight. And his big brown eyes, those big brown eyes that first caused me to fall in love with him, stare at me like I have fifty heads. "What time is it?"
    "A little after four. I forgot to take my medicine, so I got up to take it."
    He tilts his head. "Aren't you supposed to take that on a tight schedule?"
    I shrug. "Yeah. I guess. But I fell asleep when I got home and just woke up."
    He smiles and lowers his head. This could go either way. Either he'd just take me at my word and go on about his life, or he'd question things because Sam is Sam and that's what Sam does. He questions. He scrutinizes. He overthinks.
    "That's not like you. You're like clockwork."
    "I know…"
    He sits up and rubs his eyes like he's getting the sleep out of them. "One time we had to leave a movie early because you forgot your medicine, and we had to come home so you could take them."
    "I…"
    And then he starts walking toward me and the