can have a friendship with someone who used to be your lover.” Ella’s wispy bangs fall into her eyes and tangle on her mascara-coated lashes.
“Fine. Drop it.”
But the words are hardly out of my mouth and she’s reorganized her troops for another barbed attack.
“Not everyone can be so mature and date Mr. Fucking Organized and Professional, who, by the way, was an asshole , and he left Jessy, like, a five percent tip after he waved his money around all night at the diner.” Ella dares me to look at her with a jab of her elbow. When I refuse, she hisses, “And Mom overheard him say the house was tacky . She cried about it after you guys left.”
I snap my head up. “ What? ”
Jace was this guy I dated after the fallout with Trent. He was the kind of person I thought I should be with, the kind of college-educated, cultured, driven guy I thought made sense. But, no matter how perfect he seemed, I never could manage more than lukewarm feelings for him, and we broke it off without a big to-do. I had no idea he’d stooped to the level of talking shit about my mother’s home, especially after she’d been a totally gracious hostess to him. The little prick!
The triumph on Ella’s face blanks when Mom whirls around, her eyes flaming. She’s obviously been listening the whole time.
“You keep your damn mouth shut, Ella. You always push everything too far, and now your sister is upset.” She jabs her finger at Ella’s scrawny chest, and my sister opens her mouth to argue. “I advise you to consider what the hell you’re about to say, miss. Consider it, because you are on my last goddamn nerve.”
Ella mumbles ‘sorry,’ and stomps out of the kitchen on her size seven high-heeled leather boots. I’m left with a handful of sprinkles and a heartful of anger.
“I don’t know what her problem is.”
Mom hands me a mug of piping hot tea.
“Jace said that?” I duck my head to see her face, and I can tell by the wide, high brace of her eyebrows that she’s trying hard to keep her expression neutral. “Mom, why didn’t you tell me? I had no idea. I would have told that little shit where he could stick it!”
I wrap my hand tight around the mug even though it burns my fingers.
Mom rotates the big, heart-shaped diamond on her finger. It was an anniversary gift from my father, who died when I was a little kid, before I got a chance to know him. God, I wish I could remember him. I sometimes wonder what hurts more: mourning someone you have no memories of, or attempting to move on after you lose someone you knew and loved.
I don’t know the answer. I miss the father I never got to know, and I miss the love and laughter Eileen filled our lives with. I’m not sure you can quantify different kinds of pain.
The bottom line is it all sucks. Hard.
“Sweetie, sometimes young guys say dumb things, okay? And you two seemed like you really meshed. Whether or not you stayed with him, I didn’t want one careless thing he said to change your mind.”
“But, Mom, that was important. That shows how shitty his character was. Is .”
I take a furious gulp of the tea and scorch the roof of my mouth.
“See? And you figured it out without me having to tattle on him.” She bites a wreath-shaped cookie in half and watches me glower into my tea. “Babydoll, here’s some news for you, okay? Your mama is a little tacky.”
I raise my head to argue, but she holds one finger out and shakes her shaggy hair. “It’s okay. I know it. I’m like Dolly Parton, sweetie. I know who I am, and I don’t care what anyone else thinks. But you’re in a little bit of a different world now. And people looking in, they’re going to comment on things you just think are normal.”
“Don’t say that.” I put my head in my hands. “You make it sound like I’m turning into a stuck-up asshole. If that starts to happen, you better go all Ella on my ass. Don’t just let me be a dick.”
Mom smoothes my hair back and scratches