Healing Touch Read Online Free PDF Page B

humor drained
from me in an instant. “Well, doc, if you haven’t been the subject
of town gossip yet, you will be now. Damn it. I really don’t need
this.”

    Jeremy kept his distance but the damage had
been done. “Sorry, I got carried away.”

    I gathered Cody’s shoes and socks.

    In a concerned voice he said, “Tell me why
you’re so tired. Worrying about things?”

    “None of your business.”

    “You’ve lost weight too. I assume that’s not
from a fad diet. Is it getting difficult to swallow?”

    “Gee, doc, do we have to go through this
again? I’m fine.”

    “Is it me? If it is, I can recommend a doctor
in Des Moines to do the biopsy.” Jeremy lifted Cody down off the
swing.

    “Drop it.” I watch Cody tear off barefoot in
the direction of the sandbox.

    For the first time since we met I saw anger
in his expression. “Listen, that little boy needs you to be
healthy. You are already showing signs of difficulty. It’s only
going to get worse.”

    I sighed and walked to a bench near the
sandbox. Lunchtime approached and I knew I only had a half hour or
so before Cody became grumpy due to hunger. I’d sit for a minute
then head for home to make the toddler’s favorite meal, macaroni
and cheese. The thought of food made my stomach growl.

    Jeremy heard the growl but sat beside me
saying nothing.

    “Cody, please start scooping the sand back
into the box.” He worked on this task haphazardly for a few
minutes. It wasn’t perfect, but it would pass.

    I wanted to tell Jeremy what I felt. That I
was scared to death to get the results back and have it be cancer.
That I didn’t want to get sick from chemo treatments or endure
endless trips to the hospital for radiation. I couldn’t go through
all that. What would I do with Cody? Who would care for him if I
was sick in bed? Who would make him fish sticks and hold him when
he cried? If I gave in and admitted I had a disease, who would care
for and hold me?

    I wanted to tell him all these things but
couldn’t, so I said nothing.

    Without saying goodbye, he walked away.

    “Jerwee, wait for me!” Cody dashed off in his
direction. Jeremy scooped him up and gave him a big hug. He eyes
met mine as I approached. The expression surprised me. It wasn’t
one of frustration or irritation. He cared.

    Words stumbled from my mouth but I had no
idea what to say. “I’m sorry, I…”

    “Tracy, I know you’re scared. You have to
accept the fact that this isn’t going to go away. Let me help
you.”

    I grabbed the boy from his arms. “Come on,
buddy, time for lunch.” I turned toward the parking lot without
replying to his last comment.

    He spun me back around and held my arm.
Something was on the tip of his tongue and he appeared to struggle
with the words. He shook his head and said, “Will you be able to
nap when Cody does?”

    That would have been too convenient, too
easy. I shook my head said, “Cody hasn’t napped in over a
year.”

    ***

    A circle of cheesy pasta, pears, and peas lay
on the floor surrounding the booster chair. It wasn’t as bad as
most days. Cody was really hungry so he dropped less.

    He was settled in the TV room watching
cartoons and playing with his cars. I hoped to make myself a quick
lunch and rest on the couch as he played. If I were lucky, I’d get
a few minutes of sleep in before he got bored.

    My stomach cried out for a cheeseburger,
steak or ribs but these were not on the menu. Instant mashed
potatoes were easy to swallow so I cooked up another pot full. It
was the fourth batch in two days. I needed to run to the store to
buy more cheese. At least that added protein.

    The potatoes were nearly done when I heard a
loud crash in the TV room, followed by a scream.

    Racing into the room, I surveyed the child
and area as quickly as I could, searching for blood or broken
glass. “What happened?” Cody sat next to a bookshelf with a pile of
books and picture frames near to him on the floor. Most of