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from my greasy takeaway so I secretly hoped that it would mean that I’d lost weight. My heart raced as I trembled one foot onto the dreaded scales and then the other. I closed my eyes and winced as I waited for the needle to decide my fate. I felt my nails dig into my palms as I involuntarily clenched my fists and then I looked down at my lifelong enemy as its judgement pierced into my brain.
     
    “Three pounds!” I shouted, as I jumped off the scales and ran into our bedroom to tell Richard.
     
    “Amy, you can’t keep upsetting yourself like this every Monday morning,” Richard grunted as he peered his head over the bed covers.
     
    “No, I’ve lost three pounds!” I squealed, as I jumped on top of him but he looked up at me like I’d told him that I’d gained it.
     
    “That’s great babe!” He said as he rolled me off of him and stood up.
     
    “Aren’t you happy?”
     
    “I don’t know. I’m proud of you and everything but it just takes me some time to adjust,” he said as he went downstairs. I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t happy; I knew that he thought that I was restricting myself too much, but I expected him to say at least one positive thing. I followed him downstairs in the purple fluffy pyjamas that he’d bought me and I was in for a shock when I saw that he was peering over the frying pan cooking up our breakfast. Richard had cooked for me in the past but apart from some toast or a baked potato, he was lost in the kitchen. I sat on a stool and watched him frantically staring at the pancakes as he got ready to flip them over and I couldn’t help but gush over how cute he was.
     
    He stacked my pancakes up into a pile and went onto make his own smoothie.
     
    “Well? Do you like them?” he asked, as he stared at me intently.
     
    “They’re lovely babe,” I mumbled as I chewed them. “Come here!” I yelled as I pulled him close to me by his shirt and kissed him. I remembered that I needed to take my birth control pill so I fetched it out of the cupboard. He watched me as I swallowed it and then he silently walked over to the kitchen counter and stared out of the window as he drank his smoothie.
     
    “Why are you still taking those?” he asked.
     
    “So that you can keep having fun with me without wearing a condom,” I teased.
     
    “I’m serious Amy, I thought that we’d discussed this. I want to start a family with you.”
     
    “And I’ve told you over and over that I want to be in better shape first.” He slammed his fist down on the counter.
     
    “Why does everything have to be about your weight?” he seethed.
     
    “It’s not! In a couple of months when I’m slimmer, I won’t be talking about it anymore.”
     
    “You’ve already lost three pounds, are you going to carry on saying just a few more pounds until you disappear altogether?” I couldn’t help but laugh, so I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck.
     
    “You’re overreacting,” I giggled, “but I love how much you care.” The truth was that he should be worried about the crippling tiredness and headaches that I’d been hiding from him. I’d spent the last couple of days vomiting while he was at work and I wondered if that’s how I’d truly lost my three pounds.
     

Chapter Eight
     
    A few weeks later after I felt no better, I sat in the doctor’s office and nervously twiddled my thumbs. I waited for them to hand down the sentence of whatever illness I had. I feared the worst as I waited, so I read through my emails and prayed that I wasn’t sick because of my weight loss. I’d lost fourteen pounds and was feeling great but I was afraid that I’d somehow damaged my body.
     
    An hour had passed and my blood test had come back healthy, so they wanted to run further tests.
     
    “Is there any possibility that you’re pregnant?” the doctor asked.
     
    “Well, no, I’m on the pill,” I said in confusion.
     
    “Right well to be safe, I think you should