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Sanctuary, who hooked up with Daniel of all people; the Gaby who came here on a bus nine months ago, made friends with Maggie, got a job at the library.
    Which one am I?
    And what sort of chaos have I brought to Pan Beach?
    Rafa kicks the gate and the screws holding the latch to the timber give way. It swings open and we step out onto the street. Rafa knocks it shut behind us.
    ‘Now,’ he says as he sets off towards the esplanade, ‘was that so hard?’

HOT AND COLD
    I make it a block before I trust myself to speak.
    ‘That was always going to end in a brawl.’
    Rafa glances at me as we walk. His hair looks fairer out here in the sunlight. Right now I’d like to run my fingers through it, get a good handful, and smack his head into the brick wall we’re passing.
    ‘I’m not the one who started it,’ he says.
    ‘Please. You’ve been wound up for days.’
    His lips twitch. ‘You have no idea.’
    I ignore the heat climbing my neck. Above us, the morning sky is cloudless, the sun getting warmer.
    ‘Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy that,’ I say.
    ‘What—dancing around with those arse clowns while you stood and watched?’ He looks at me. ‘You think that’s my idea of fun? You should have jumped straight in.’
    He’s not quite so playful now.
    ‘When a fight breaks out, Rafa, my first instinct isn’t to jump in.’
    ‘Well, it should be.’
    ‘Why?’
    He blocks my path, forcing me to stop. ‘You’re kidding, right?’ He’s only half a head taller than me, but it’s enough to give him an advantage when he wants to stare me down. ‘Do you want to find Jude or not?’
    My chest tightens. I don’t answer. I shouldn’t need to.
    ‘I’m serious,’ he says. ‘We’ve got the Sanctuary breathing down our necks, demons gunning for us and god knows what else between us and Jude. You need to know what you’re capable of and you can only do that if you break a sweat.’
    ‘I thought you were going to train me.’
    ‘Nothing beats the real thing.’
    ‘So that was for my benefit?’
    ‘Trying to keep this shit out of Pan Beach is for your benefit. You know I’d rather be somewhere else. I’m ready to leave right now, just say the word.’
    ‘It’s not that simple.’
    ‘It is, and you know it. We could be in Melbourne and back by lunchtime. I don’t know why you’re dragging your feet.’
    He watches me and I hope he can’t read me as well as he thinks he can. I don’t want to explain this uncertainty—I’m not sure I could, even if I wanted to. His eyes flicker in frustration and anger.
    ‘We have to wait for Taya and Malachi,’ I say.
    He’s more than over that excuse. ‘Shit, Gabe, Nathaniel’s not sending them to help, he’s sending them to spy on us.’
    ‘I realise that.’ I’m yet to convince the fallen angel who found and raised the Rephaim—and built them into an army—that I don’t know where the rest of the Fallen are. That I don’t know what Jude and I did a year ago that left me broken and bloodied. That maybe killed Jude.
    ‘Then let’s go before they get here.’
    I look past him to the esplanade. It’s not as if I have a burning desire to see Nathaniel’s head-kickers again. The first time I met Taya she threw me into a tree and broke my ribs. Then Malachi tried to drown me in a bathtub, on Nathaniel and Daniel’s orders. As if a near-death experience was going to jump-start memories from my old life. And they wonder why I’m not racing to move back into Rephaim headquarters in Italy. There’s a reason Jude, Rafa, Ez, Zak and nineteen other Rephaim left the so-called Sanctuary a decade ago and became Outcasts. There’s also a reason I didn’t go with them. I just wish I knew what it was.
    ‘And what do you think Taya and Malachi will do when they can’t find me?’ I say. ‘They’ll scoop up Mags again and we’re back where we started—or worse—because next time they will take her to the Sanctuary.’
    ‘How does that change if we wait