Hazards Read Online Free PDF

who used to be men!” he said triumphantly.
    “Now why in the world would a normal woman want to turn into a lady elephant?” I said. “Unless of course you’re the only man on the island, and there are a mess of good-looking male elephants out there that I ain’t encountered yet.”
    “I have learned how to surgically transform men and women into animals,” he said. “Didn’t you think it was peculiar that a moose and an elephant could converse with you?”
    “Not as peculiar as a doctor who claims they used to be a man and a woman called Miguel and Felicity,” I said.
    “But they were!” he insisted. “This has been my life’s work! I am only a few years from going public with it. There won’t be enough Nobel Prizes to honor me. They’ll have to create a newer, more prestigious award.”
    “Just how private can it be even now?” I said. “Some hospital or college must know about your work, or you couldn’t have gotten funding for all this.”
    “My funding comes from my patients, who pay me to transform them,” said Doctor Mirbeau.
    “I don’t want to seem unduly skeptical,” I said, “buy why in tarnation would a bunch of perfectly normal human beings pay good money to be turned into animals?”
    “Because every last one of them is a wanted criminal,” he answered. “What better way to avoid detection than to become an animal?”
    Well, I could think of a lot of better ways, or at least less painful ones, but I didn’t want to argue with my host, especially since I had a feeling anyone who lost an argument with him was likely to be turned into a koala bear or an iguana or some such thing.
    “That’s mighty interesting, Brother Mirbeau,” I said at last, “and I sure wish you the best of luck with all your Nobel Prizes, but now that we’ve had a friendly visit and I’ve drunk my fill, I think it’s time I was on my way, if you’ll just point me toward the nearest city.”
    “I’m afraid I can’t let you leave the island, Doctor Jones,” he said.
    “Why not?” I said.
    “You might reveal what I’m doing here before I’m ready to tell the world.”
    “I give you my solemn word as a man of the cloth who ain’t never told a lie in his whole blameless life that I wouldn’t even think of doing such a thing,” I said. “Besides, if I did, they’d probably just lock me up in the drunk tank.”
    “I can’t take the chance,” he said. “You may have free run of the island until I’m ready.”
    “Ready for what?” I asked.
    “You’ll find out,” he said with a strange smile.
    Suddenly it started raining, which it does a lot of in the rain forest, and pretty soon we could hardly hear ourselves over the thunder.
    “You ain’t going to make a fellow white man sleep outside in this weather, are you?” I said, looking out the window.
    “That was never my intention,” said Doctor Mirbeau. “I’ll have a bed prepared for you next door in the House of Agony.”
    “The House of Agony?”
    “That’s right,” he said.
    “You know, I think the rain’s lightening up already,” I said quickly as it continued to pour. “Maybe I’ll just spend the night on the beach.”
    “I won’t hear of it,” he said. “You can’t be too careful with your health.”
    Those were my sentiments exactly, but no matter how much I protested, he insisted that I accept his hospitality. Finally he got up, put an arm around my shoulders, and walked me over to the front door.
    “Your boat has been moved to a safe place,” he said. “You really don’t want to leave the island without it, as the water is infested with alligators.”
    I couldn’t see that a river being infested with alligators was all that much worse than an island being infested with a mad scientist, but I kept my opinion to myself.
    “Dinner is at eight o’clock,” he said as he opened the door for me. “Promptness is appreciated.” He stared at me. “I don’t suppose you brought a dinner jacket?”
    “I could go