Harvest Moon Read Online Free PDF Page A

reminding her of the prison she’d locked herself in for twenty years. Only lately, thanks to the conversations with Ry, did she recall how she used to sometimes feel around a man she really liked a lot. The way her first love, Marc, had made her feel. The way she’d first felt when she met Gary, although the idea he could solicit the sensation now made her nauseous.
    Veronica swallowed her pain and met her sister’s gaze. “I’m fine, Em. And I don’t like blind dates.”
    Emily offered a sad, closed-lip smile. “Okay, hon.”
    No, she definitely wouldn’t tell Emily about the rape because she’d tell their mother. Then they’d ask questions, probe for details. Maybe even discuss the incident behind her back, albeit with good intentions. Then her mother would insist they shove her pain under a rug, like Mom did with most things capable of making others talk. Neither of them would understand the scars of shame Veronica wore after the attack, or how she had worried the campus authorities or other students might call her a liar. The same way they had when another girl was raped on campus the year before, making Veronica stay silent not only to the university, but to the police as well.
    The front door opened and snapped her from the horrible past. Boomer barked and scrambled up the steps behind Emily’s husband.
    Walt walked into the kitchen, a tie hanging loose around the opened neck of his dress shirt and his reddish-blond hair curling around his ears. “Smells good. What’s cookin’ good lookin’?” He leaned over and kissed Emily.
    “Your favorite. Pasta.”
    He pecked Veronica on the cheek. “Good to see you, Ronnie. And of course it’s always good to see my best buddy.” He turned to Boomer and leaned over to rub his neck with both hands. Walt muttered strange little cooing sounds, so unlike him. Boomer’s swishing tail suggested he enjoyed the small talk.
    Walt stood upright. “Can I change before we eat?”
    “Yup. It’ll be out when you get down.”
    He walked off. The happy family image Veronica had forfeited many years back, along with notions of romantic love, remained embedded in her mind. If only Marc hadn’t ended things… If only she’d never met Gary….
    Veronica forced a smile. “Walt loves dogs. You guys should get one.”
    Emily shared a long list of reasons why she wasn’t ready for one yet, but Veronica only half listened. Lately, more than ever before, a part of her wished to shed scars from the horror she’d been through in grad school. The problem was she had no clue how to start.
    * * * *
    The black forest chalet clock in Veronica’s kitchen cuckooed eight times, then played “Edelweiss.” The clock had been a gift from her mother and stepfather when they’d returned from their ten-year anniversary trip to Germany. She only remembered the timeframe because she’d received the gift close to her thirty-fifth birthday, a time when her mother liked to tease about Veronica’s biological clock. Mom no longer joked about the topic, a true blessing.
    Veronica knuckled the sleep from her eyes, then followed the mesmerizing spin of her ceiling fan. Moving forward. Two simple words that sounded so easy. In a way, she had moved forward after Gary’s attack. She’d shut off the valve to her sexual desires, which had allowed her to resume dating. Choices were men who, she believed, would hand her the cord of control in the bedroom. The way she chose her romantic interests, even to this day. Yet, it had worked and left her moderately satisfied. At least until recently.
    The PartyTime invitation had come at her like a curve ball. Carin’s image, with Gary at her side, stayed imprinted in her mind, popping up at random times. For the past few days, she and Gail had played phone tag. A demand for answers seemed to matter less and less. Gary had returned to Veronica’s orbit—did it matter why? Besides, avoidance had always been an easier pill for her to swallow.
    Veronica rolled