Harp's Song Read Online Free PDF Page A

right. Stop making it ok.”
    “I am not making it ok!” I yelled, “I know it’s not ok. Do you think I don’t know that it’s messed up every time she tells me I’m a loser and worthless, and then reminds me that I ruined her life? Do you? Because I know it’s not ok. But,” I paused using the back of my hand to wipe away more tears. “I did some research a while ago and there’s no guarantee I can get put in foster care with a family here, and I need to be here to finish school and keep my place in the orchestra. Once I graduate, I’m done. This is my life—my decision. And, honestly,” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. Looking straight into Connor’s pained, deep green eyes, I continued, “you are my best friend. I’m not ready to lose you because of her. I won’t let her have that power over us.”
    Even though he didn’t like it, Connor understood what I was telling him. He pulled me to his chest and I started crying. I pulled away from him when I remembered Catherine was still sitting on the bed.
    “I’m sorry Cather-“
    “Honey, it’s ok, come here,” she said with open arms. I went to her and let her hold me and reassure me the way a mother should. “I understand what you are telling us Harp. I don’t like it, but I understand it.”
    “Here’s the deal though, she hurts you again, and I’m speaking with her. And if we have to, we’ll move you in here. In the meantime, we’re going to get you a cell phone today and put you on our plan so you can call any of us anytime if you need anything.”
    I nodded and gave her a hug.
    “But, the next time this happens, we are not ignoring it. You understand me?”
    I agreed thinking that I would do everything in my power to not let it happen again. If that meant I had to lock myself in my room, then that’s what I would do. She gave me another hug and gave Connor a sympathetic smile before she left.
    He sat down in her place and pulled me to his side kissing the top of my head. I knew we had both been holding a lot of tension and I sighed into him. We sat like that without talking for a few minutes, and I reveled in the safety I felt being in his arms.
    Finally, we pulled apart and his lips pulled into a mischievous grin, “Get your ass ready, we are going to get you a phone. I’ll help you get it set up and show you how to use it. Tonight we’ll watch movies and get a pizza. And you can stay here again, ok.”
    I gave him a hug, “Thank you. You’ve put up with a lot over the years and I know it’s been hard on you … I’m sorry.”
    “Harp, you have nothing to be sorry about. It’s your mom that should be apologizing to you for what she’s put you through. It’s not fair and I don’t like it, but I understand what you said earlier. I’m always here for you.”
    “How did you get so wise? You always know exactly what to say and do.” I gave him a small smile.
    “Harp, I have no idea what I’m doing half the time, especially with you,” he said looking deeply into my eyes. I could see the depth of emotion shining through them, but what stuck with me were the feelings of pain, confusion, and reverence I saw there. His eyes darted from mine to roam my face and stop at my lips before meeting my eyes again.
    “I’m serious, Connor. At school and with other people you are a carefree teenager, but when I need your help, like this morning, you,” I sighed, “I dunno, you just seem more mature.”
    We sat there in silence for what felt like a few minutes, but I was sure it was only seconds before he ran his hand through his floppy hair and sighed, “I guess I grew up fast like you.”
    “My mom is great and she does everything for us, but with my dad gone so much, I had to help out a lot with the house and my brother. I guess what you’re saying is probably a result of that, you know, not having the privilege of being a kid.”
    “Yeah, I know what you mean. And trust me, it’s not a bad thing.