Handbook for an Unpredictable Life: How I Survived Sister Renata and My Crazy Mother, and Still Came Out Smiling (with Great Hair) Read Online Free PDF Page B

smother her laughter.
    “I didn’t mean it like that, stupid. Where’s her house? Is she from the city?”
    I shrugged. I didn’t know. I just knew it was in a neighborhood with a lot of Puerto Ricans and Jews.
    “Where are we?” I asked.
    “Saint Joe’s. I’ve been here since I was one. I’m four and a half.”
    “I wanna go home.” I whispered back, tearing up.
    “You can’t. You have to wait for your mother to come back and ask permission.”
    My mother? Oh no! Which one, my real mommie or that other pretty, mean lady who brought me here? I lay back on my pillow and cried, quietly. I finally put my thumb in my mouth, trying to soothe myself to sleep.
    “Rosie. Rosie,” Crazy Cindy continued to yell in a loud whisper.
    “Who’s talking?” screamed Sister Mary-Domenica as she came marching back into the dorm wearing a granny nightgown and a cotton nightcap on her head!
    Crazy Cindy quickly pretended to be asleep. I sat up.
    “Perdoname,”
I squeaked.
    “English!” she snapped.
    “I wanna go home,” I said, softly crying.
    “This is your home now,” Sister Mary-Domenica again snapped. “Go to sleep. And stop that crying.”
    With that, she left again. This time I began to cry out hysterically,tears pouring out of my eyes with fear, pain, and anger. This just can’t be. Why is this happening to me? I want to go home! I want to go home!
    “I said stop that crying!” screamed Sister Mary-Domenica as she came rushing back in. Crazy Cindy, in a loud whisper, told me to lie down and be quiet before I got hit. I tried my hardest to quiet myself. I pulled the covers over my head, stuck my thumb in my mouth, and tried to control my breathing, which was coming out in big gulps of pain.
    •   •   •
    It was 6:00 AM the next morning. The old bag, Sister Mary-Domenica, came out clapping her hands together to wake us up.
Clap, clap, clap!
“Let’s go. Time to get up. Line up for showers,” she barked. I woke up, drained and exhausted. Everyone jumped out of their bunks, took off their nightgowns, put on their bathrobes and slippers, and headed to the bathroom.
    One girl—skinny, Latina, looked around my age—wouldn’t get out of her bunk. She sat there, crying. Sister Mary-Domenica went over to her bed.
    “Get off, now,” she said through her clenched teeth. “You know better than to wet your bed. Get your sheets and bring them to the laundry chute!” The young girl pulled her sheets off, crying the whole time, and put them down the chute. She returned to get her bathrobe and slippers.
    “Lift up your nightie!” ordered Sister Mary-Domenica.
    The girl did so and bent over with her hands on her knees. Sister Mary-Domenica pulled out a paddle from under her robe.
Whack! Whack! Whack!
Right across her bare bottom. Fear and astonishment went straight through my body. The girl was crying even harder now. Everyone else stood quiet, watching. I started to shake.
    “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to really cry about. Get in line!”
    Inside the bathroom, everyone took off their bathrobes and placed them on hooks against the wall. Sister Ann-Marie was waiting inside. I didn’t understand what was going on. I felt funny and numb, but I continued to follow along. Then they all formed a line in front of the big shower. There were four showerheads turned on. In groups of five or six, or however many of us could fit inside the shower at a time, the girls went inside and started to wash themselves. I got nervous. I felt weird standing there naked with strangers. Plus, I never washed myself before. I watched to see how they were doing it. They were quick and thorough about it. There was no horseplay or enjoyment involved.
    It was my turn. I followed behind Crazy Cindy. Seeing how sad and uncomfortable I was, Crazy Cindy splashed water in my face to try to make me laugh. I didn’t. She then stood directly under one of the four showerheads with her mouth open, took a bar of soap, stuck it in