Hand of Thorns Read Online Free PDF Page A

It was recommended to see an actual gynecologist before scheduling an appointment, so here I am, sitting in a blue room with posters of drawn vaginas and animated birth canals on the walls.
    With a knock first, the door opens, and in walks an older male with his gray hair pulled into a man-bun. I try not to laugh at his attempt. He has a clipboard in hand, which he sets down on the counter before washing his hands. He peeks over at me with a kind smile. "Good morning, Miss Rockwell. I'm Doctor Robinson. How are you feeling today?"
    "I'm feeling pretty good."
    Wiping his hands on the paper towels, he discards them before picking up his clipboard and looking things over again. "So I see you're in here for a pap smear and counseling. Could you further explain what you need counseling on?"
    For the first time I'm becoming nauseous over the idea of everything. "Well... I, um... I have been thinking about becoming a surrogate mother."
    Sliding his stool towards me, he takes a seat, nodding his head. "That is extremely noble of you. What has made you decide on this?"
    I read online that stating that you're doing it for the money is the absolute last thing you want to do, because nine out of ten agencies will dismiss you. It isn't the only reason, but it's the main reason. Since reading articles and blogs about surrogacy, I realized how special it was to give someone that gift, because all around everyone benefits.
    So as I've rehearsed in the bathroom mirror over three dozen times, I explain what I hope he wants to hear. "I met someone recently who was pregnant for someone else, and I thought about how selfless it was. Then I realized I was at a point in my life where I need to make decisions that will affect my future in a positive way. I have no idea if I want kids for myself, but I'm young, healthy, genially happy, and all I have going for myself is college classes. So it has been sitting with me for weeks about how I could be the person to help an entire family be whole. I could give a couple a blessing they've been praying for, while also finishing out college, and figuring out my future."
    "Sounds like you've certainly done some thinking on the situation. How do your parents feel about it?"
    "Well, my father is no longer with us, and my mother... she is going through rehabilitation." I can feel my face flame red with embarrassment, and it worsens when he scribbles something down on his clipboard.
    With a slow nod of the head, he looks back up to me. "So you haven't spoken with her about any of it yet?"
    "I haven't. I wanted to know it was going to be an actual possibility first. Like I said, she's trying to fight an addiction. I don't need to add to any of her stress right now." Which is mostly true- that, and I don't want her to discourage me. Right now, if anyone starts to discourage me I know I'll back away. I want to be to the point of it being too late before I tell anyone.
    He nods his head slowly once more, assessing my face with his eyes. "Do you have any other support system? You do realize you’re going to need it."
    "Oh, of course, I have three amazing friends. Sumner, Rochelle, and Penelope." Although, again, I haven't told them yet. I leave that part out though.
    "Good. I'm glad to hear. Even just one is great, having three is exceptional. I am going to assume no boyfriend or husband, am I correct in that?"
    "You are."
    "So no birth control or contraceptive at all?"
    "Well... I was prescribed birth control pills almost two years ago, but I haven't taken them in over six months."
    "Are you sexually active at all?"
    "No."
    He marks a few more things down on his clipboard. He continues to ask me questions about my previous sexual encounters, if I have any STD's, and other questions I don't even understand. Once he feels comfortable enough in his decision making process, he then settles back and asks what I want to know about everything.
    I feel overly educated on the entire thing, only for the sake it has been weeks