Guard My Heart Read Online Free PDF Page A

out to touch mine. And that is how it stays. Maybe I am a coward. I know
Jenna wants to be with me, and I want to be with her. I probably shouldn’t even
think about stuff like this, but I have nothing to offer this beautiful girl.
The three of us have already applied and been accepted to the local college
here, but I know Jenna’s parents aren’t happy about that. They don’t want her
to go to college. They want her to go to a university. Somewhere more
prestigious than our local college. But Jenna insists she’s not leaving home.
Mia and I don’t have much choice. The education policy Dad had for us only
covered school and college for a year, after that we have to pay our own way.
So yes, I am not worthy of this girl, but damn my black heart for wanting her.
I take her hand and turn it so the palm is facing up. She looks at me like I’ve
just made her the happiest girl in the world. And she shouldn’t because I can
only break her heart. I lift her hand up and place a soft kiss on her wrist. It
smells of apples and something else, something even sweeter. Every time I smell
apples I will think of her.

DAY FOUR
     
    I lift the covers off my face when I hear my bedroom door
open. My mom is an angel. I’m a grown kid, and she still brings Mia and me
coffee in bed every morning when she wakes us up for school. She switches on
the bedside lamp and puts the coffee down next to it.
    “Good morning, Kyle. Time to get up,” she says while
running her hand through my hair. I smile up at her because I love my mom, and
if she wants to ruffle my hair like I’m five years old, she can damn well do
it.
    “Morning, Mom,” I say between yawns, “Thanks for the
coffee.” Mom turns around and smiles at me before she leaves the room. I
stretch out my sleepy limbs and get out of bed. We only have one bathroom, so I
better check if Mia is done in there or I’m going to have to speed her up. I
pick up my coffee, and suddenly my room is flooded in light.
    “Good morning, big brother,” Mia sings from the door.
    “Morning,” I say, sounding not in the least as chipper as
she is. I grab my towel since Mia is already dressed and head down the hall to
our small bathroom.
    When I step into the passage, I hear him complaining from
downstairs. He’s bitching about breakfast or something. I close the bathroom
door and drown out his voice. One day Mom will realize she doesn’t need that
piece of crap in her life. That day can’t come soon enough.
    I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the small
medicine cabinet above the basin. I still look like the same guy. Blue eyes,
brown hair, nothing special, but I feel different. I feel older. I feel
dangerous. I’ve dealt drugs, twice. Pete knows I’m going away for a week this
Friday. He also said I’m done until I get back. There are no small deals
happening for the rest of the week that I can go along for. I don’t see the
point of sending me on any more small deals. I already know what to do, but
with the three Chevy guys it was different. I felt comfortable, like they had
my back. Just like I would look out for them if something went wrong. I have no
idea what to expect if I go alone or with someone else.
    I don’t have time for a long shower but that’s okay. My
mind is conflicted but I feel good. Mia gets to go on vacation. Mom’s got money
that she hid away from him, to hold her over until we get back. And I held
Jenna’s hand last night. Sounds like a wussy thing to say, considering I’m
eighteen years old, but when you want someone as bad as I want Jenna and you
know you can’t have her, it’s a pretty big deal.
    I wrap the towel around my waist and grab my
toothbrush.
    I’m not a player. But there have been other girls. And
I’ve always treated the girls I’ve been with with respect, and I’ve never
flaunted a girl in front of Jenna. But now I can’t even remember the last time I
had a date. My head seems to just